Classic and Contemporary Poetry: Explained

"Poem With Refrains" by Robert Pinsky delves into the complex territory of family relationships, particularly the strained connection between a mother and her child, through the lens of rituals and traditions. This poem, intricate with narrative details, symbols, and refrains, suggests that rituals, whether religious, familial, or individual, are but a façade for the underlying realities of human emotions and relationships.

The poem commences with an ominous scene where "The yellow, coal-fed fog" uncurls over a river, setting a tone of disquietude and taint that pervades the poem. The narrative soon transitions into a more intimate account of the mother's refusal to attend her own mother's funeral. This act of absence is compounded by further acts of distancing, not just from the rituals but also from the people who partake in them. We see a generational chasm, a continuation of missing or refusing to engage, that manifests in various forms, such as not attending the funeral or the bar mitzvah ceremonies.

Pinsky captures the ambivalence of relationships through episodes that invoke confusion, hurt, and a search for meaning. For instance, the mother and her own mother "Wept and argued" yet lived only "four doors apart," emphasizing physical closeness but emotional distance. Further, the poem intricately blends the mother's narrative with larger concerns. Her sarcastic comment about the minister of the Nation of Islam criticizes the collective act of othering and scapegoating. Her words not only invoke the preacher's questionable taste in attire but subtly jab at the irony and illogic of blaming a whole community for the issues he is concerned about.

Incorporating refrains from various sources, the poem is interlaced with quotations that resemble moral axioms or poetic proclamations. These refrains serve multiple functions: they amplify the theme of ritual and repetition, underscore the enigmatic quality of human emotions, and provide a lyrical quality to the poem. They serve as a backdrop, a sort of Greek chorus, commenting indirectly on the unfolding drama between the mother and her child.

Interestingly, the narrative returns to a graveyard scene towards the end, where the mother finally makes an appearance. The mood here shifts to an understanding, albeit begrudging, of her complexity. She arrives at the graveside in a "black car," walking "across/The field of gravestones capped with snow," her coat "Black as the car." This dark figure, "awaited, attended, aware, apart," epitomizes the paradoxes that constitute her; she's both part of the ritual and yet removed from it.

Through its intricate narrative, symbolism, and refrains, "Poem With Refrains" becomes a multifaceted look at the complexity of human emotions and relationships. It poses vital questions on the role of rituals, the essence of family ties, and the unsolvable mysteries of human behavior. It serves as an emotional investigation, looking beyond the veil of traditions and ceremonies, unearthing the uncomfortable but inherently human traits of avoidance, misunderstanding, and paradox. In doing so, the poem leaves us pondering over the idea that maybe understanding someone isn't about looking through a transparent lens, but about navigating the fog.

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