Classic and Contemporary Poetry: Explained

Carolyn Kizer's "Parents' Pantoum; For Maxine Kumin" explores the generational dynamics between parents and their grown children through the repetitive and circular structure of the pantoum. The poem delves into themes of aging, role reversal, and the tension between maintaining spontaneity and adhering to societal expectations of dignity.

The poem opens with a sense of astonishment: "Where did these enormous children come from, / More ladylike than we have ever been?" This juxtaposition of the parents' past youthful spontaneity with their children's current maturity sets the stage for exploring the complexities of their relationships. The children, dressed in "long dresses" and "fragile heels," appear more poised and somber than their parents ever were, highlighting a shift in roles and perceptions.

As the poem progresses, the parents reflect on their own sense of spontaneity and how their children perceive them: "They say they admire our youthful spontaneity." However, there is an underlying sense of irony and frustration as the children "moan about their aging more than we do," suggesting that the younger generation, despite their outward sophistication, are more preoccupied with the passage of time and the trappings of aging.

The repeated lines in the pantoum structure emphasize the cyclical nature of these reflections and interactions: "They beg us to be dignified like them / As they ignore our pleas to brighten up." This repetition creates a rhythm that mirrors the ongoing and unresolved nature of the parents' concerns and desires. The parents wish to capture their children's attention and be acknowledged for their own worth, beyond being seen as quaint relics of the past.

The poem also touches on the idea of feeling "second-childish," a term that encapsulates the parents' sense of being infantilized or overlooked by their more serious and somber offspring: "So now we pout like children. Second-childish? / Quaint fragments of forgotten history?" This line conveys the parents' frustration and their longing for recognition and understanding from their children.

The imagery of the garden, where the daughters stroll and chat, serves as a metaphor for the generational divide: "Our daughters stroll together in the garden, / Chatting of news we've chosen to ignore." The parents feel excluded from the conversations and histories that the younger generation prioritizes, underscoring a disconnect in communication and shared experiences.

Kizer further explores the reluctance of the younger generation to engage with the past: "Because they hate to excavate old memories / They don't believe our stories have an end." This reluctance to delve into the parents' histories suggests a fear of confronting uncomfortable truths or acknowledging the full complexity of their parents' lives. The line "They don't see that we've become their mirrors" encapsulates the ultimate irony that the parents, in their aging and life experiences, reflect the future of their children.

The poem concludes with a poignant reversal: "We offspring of our enormous children." This final line underscores the role reversal and dependency that can occur as parents age and become increasingly reliant on their children. It highlights the continuous and evolving nature of familial relationships, where roles and expectations are constantly in flux.

"Parents' Pantoum; For Maxine Kumin" is a reflective and poignant exploration of the generational dynamics between parents and their grown children. Through the repetitive and cyclical structure of the pantoum, Carolyn Kizer captures the complexities of aging, the shifting roles within families, and the enduring desire for recognition and understanding. The poem invites readers to contemplate the delicate balance between maintaining spontaneity and embracing the dignity that comes with age, while also acknowledging the inevitable reversals that life brings.