Poetry Explorer- Classic Contemporary Poetry, VERMONT DRIED BEEF, by DANIEL LEAVENS CADY


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Classic and Contemporary Poetry

VERMONT DRIED BEEF, by                     Poet's Biography
First Line: I'm sure 'twould give the world relief
Last Line: The supreme substance mortals know.
Subject(s): Beef; Food & Eating; Vermont


I'M sure 'twould give the world relief
To know our rule for drying beef;
For forty years we cured our meat
With jest the same, By Gosh! receipt;
To know the good results we got
Might help the world a quite a lot;
A better product never yet
Was on a dotted doily set—
The preacher et so much that dad,
A-more than once, looked kinder mad.

To turn the trick without default
You take a quart of rocky salt,
Two spoons of saltedpeter, mind,
You get the skull and crossbones kind,
Of Orleans sweetness jest a cup,
And mix the three porportions up;
You then produce five hams of beef,
Or six if you had jest as lief,
And have 'em trimmed by light of day
And all the gristle cut away.

Then get the old big wooden bowl—
The one the Gypsies almost stole—
And fit the hammy hunks in nice,
Like pickles that you pack in spice,
And when they lay there calm and still,
A-subject to your sovereign will,
You pour the mixture all around
And make a wish, but not a sound,
And then you set the bowl a-where
A handy step will take you there.

And then the strangest things begin—
The juice runs out, the cure-all in;
A sort of infiltration starts
Betwixt the mixed and meaty parts,
And first you know there ain't a sign
Of salt, or anything but brine;
Your hasty pudding paddle then
You take a little after ten
Each second day, and stir the brew
And turn each clod a turn or two.

In jest three weeks, or four, or less,
Depending on the "patroness,"
The brine is all absorbed away,
Or, as a household bard might say,
"The sea subsides and leaves a reef
Of good old solid home-dried beef;"
Each piece all right to be a-strung
And in the backroom chamber hung—
The finest eating here below,
The supreme substance mortals know.





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