Classic and Contemporary Poetry
POEM, ON SUPPOSITION OF ADVERTISEMENT ...VOLUME OF POEMS, BY A SERVANT, by ELIZABETH HANDS Poet's Biography First Line: The tea-kettle bubbled, the tea things were set Last Line: Like courtiers contending for honours, sat down. Alternate Author Name(s): Daphne Subject(s): Advertising; Books; Household Employees; Social Classes; Women Writers; Reading; Servants; Domestics; Maids; Caste | ||||||||
THE tea-kettle bubbled, the tea things were set, The candles were lighted, the ladies were met; The how d'ye's were over, and entering bustle, The company seated, and silks ceased to rustle: The great Mrs. Consequence opened her fan, And thus the discourse in an instant began (All affected reserve and formality scorning): 'I suppose you all saw in the paper this morning A volume of Poems advertised -- 'tis said They're produced by the pen of a poor servant-maid.' 'A servant write verses!' says Madam Du Bloom: 'Pray what is the subject -- a Mop, or a Broom?' 'He, he, he,' says Miss Flounce: 'I suppose we shall see An Ode on a Dishclout -- what else can it be?' Says Miss Coquettilla, 'Why, ladies, so tart? Perhaps Tom the footman has fired her heart; And she'll tell us how charming he looks in new clothes, And how nimble his hand moves in brushing the shoes; Or how, the last time that he went to May Fair, He bought her some sweethearts of gingerbread ware.' 'For my part I think,' says old Lady Marr-joy, 'A servant might find herself other employ: Was she mine I'd employ her as long as 'twas light, And send her to bed without candle at night.' 'Why so?', says Miss Rhymer, displeased: 'I protest 'Tis pity a genius should be so depressed!' 'What ideas can such low-bred creatures conceive?', Says Mrs. Noworthy, and laughed in her sleeve. Says old Miss Prudella, 'If servants can tell How to write to their mothers, to say they are well, And read of a Sunday The Duty of Man, Which is more I believe than one half of them can; I think 'tis much properer they should rest there, Than be reaching at things so much out of their sphere.' Says old Mrs. Candour, 'I've now got a maid That's the plague of my life -- a young gossiping jade; There's no end of the people that after her come, And whenever I'm out, she is never at home; I'd rather ten times she would sit down and write, Than gossip all over the town every night.' 'Some whimsical trollop most like,' says Miss Prim, 'Has been scribbling of nonsense, just out of a whim, And, conscious it neither is witty or pretty, Conceals her true name, and ascribes it to Betty.' 'I once had a servant myself,' says Miss Pines, 'That wrote on a wedding some very good lines.' Says Mrs. Domestic, 'And when they were done, I can't see for my part what use they were on; Had she wrote a receipt, to've instructed you how To warm a cold breast of veal, like a ragout, Or to make cowslip wine, that would pass for Champagne, It might have been useful, again and again.' On the sofa was old Lady Pedigree placed; She owned that for poetry she had no taste, That the study of heraldry was more in fashion, And boasted she knew all the crests in the nation. Says Mrs. Routella, 'Tom, take out the urn, And stir up the fire, you see it don't burn.' The tea things removed, and the tea-table gone, The card-tables brought, and the cards laid thereon, The ladies, ambitious for each others' crown, Like courtiers contending for honours, sat down. | Discover our Poem Explanations and Poet Analyses!Other Poems of Interest...THE WEALTH OF THE DESTITUTE by DENISE LEVERTOV THE GATEKEEPER'S CHILDREN by PHILIP LEVINE THE SWIMMING POOL by THOMAS LUX POEM BEGINNING WITH A RANDOM PHRASE FROM COLERIDGE by THOMAS LUX FRESCOES FOR MR. ROCKEFELLER'S CITY: BURY GROUND BY THE TIES by ARCHIBALD MACLEISH INVOCATION TO THE SOCIAL MUSE by ARCHIBALD MACLEISH FORTUNO CARRACCIOLI by ROBERT MCALMON AN AMERICAN POEM by EILEEN MYLES |
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