Poetry Explorer- Classic Contemporary Poetry, FATHERS CERTAINLY ARE FUNNY, by DOUGLAS MALLOCH


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Classic and Contemporary Poetry

FATHERS CERTAINLY ARE FUNNY, by                     Poet's Biography
First Line: Fathers are the funniest things!
Last Line: Fathers certainly are funny!
Subject(s): Fathers


Fathers are the funniest things! --
When a girl her fellow brings
Home with her, they're not like Mother:
She looks pleased. Somehow or other
Dad acts different from her:
Looks him over, calls him "sir,"
Very nearly scares your fellow
Red and white and green and yellow --
Shakes his hand, but wears a frown,
Looks him up and looks him down,
Acts as though he scented danger,
Like our bulldog with a stranger,
Hangs around the house or yard,
Seems to sort of keep on guard
Like his daughter was his money --
Fathers certainly are funny.

Fathers are the funniest things! --
When you're married, when the ring's
On your finger, when you're keeping
House, and come to Mother weeping
All about a little spat
You and Hubby have been at,
Mother always sympathizes;
But your father sort of sizes
Up the situation, then
Says, "Now you run home again,
Quit your crying, stop your fussing;
I don't blame the boy for cussing" --
Always takes the fellow's part!
Hope to die and cross my heart,
When your man you've married, honey,
Fathers certainly are funny!





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