Poetry Explorer- Classic Contemporary Poetry, PESSIMISM, by WALT MASON


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Classic and Contemporary Poetry

PESSIMISM, by                     Poet's Biography
First Line: You're buying trouble when you buy a
Last Line: "dotards dote, he is a chump who does not own a boat!"
Subject(s): Pessimism


"YOU'RE buying trouble when you buy a car," the old man said, his gloomy face
ajar. "I'd rather walk, as walked my patient sires, than stand in mud and fuss
with busted tires. Whene'er you travel in your four-wheeled boat, all things
conspire to bear away your goat. Your engine balks, your brakes refuse to hold,

your cooling system will not keep things cold. You find new grief no matter
where you roam; you must hire mules to haul your tumbril home." "Oh, sage," I
said, "what is there on this earth that won't bring grief, however great its
worth? You drive a horse, when you would journey hence, and now and then it
kicks you through a fence. You have a wife, whom doubtless you adore, but now
and then she makes your spirit sore. You like good grub, but when you eat too
much, your crippled stomach clamors for a crutch. Why cut out honey, if we like

it, friend, because the bee is loaded at one end? Go to, old man! Though all the

dotards dote, he is a chump who does not own a boat!"





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