Poetry Explorer- Classic Contemporary Poetry, A SATIRE: THE GHOST OF SPENSER SPEAKS, by JOHN OLDHAM


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Classic and Contemporary Poetry

A SATIRE: THE GHOST OF SPENSER SPEAKS, by                 Poet Analysis     Poet's Biography
First Line: But, grant thy poetry should find success
Last Line: Be all but poet, and there's way to live.
Subject(s): Poetry & Poets; Spenser, Edmund (1552-1599)


But, grant thy poetry should find success,
And, which is rare, the squeamish critics please;
Admit it read, and praised, and courted be
By this nice age and all posterity;
If thou expectest aught but empty fame,
Condemn thy hopes and labours to the flame.
The rich have now learned only to admire;
He, who to greater favours does aspire,
Is mercenary thought, and writes for hire.

"Bless me! how great his genius! how each line
Is big with sense! how glorious a design
Does through the whole and each proportion shine!
How lofty all his thoughts and how inspired!
Pity, such wondrous thoughts are not preferred,"
Cries a gay wealthy sot, who would not bail
For bare five pounds the author out of jail
Should he starve there and rot; who if a brief
Came out the needy poets to relieve
To the whole tribe would scarce a tester give.

But fifty guineas for a punk—good hap!
The peer's well used, and comes off wondrous cheap;
A poet would be dear, and out o' th' way,
Should he expect above a coachman's pay.
For this will any dedicate, and lie,
And daub the gaudy ass with flattery?
For this will any prostitute his sense
To coxcombs void of bounty as of brains?
Yet such is the hard fate of writers now,
They're forced for alms to each great name to bow;
Fawn, like her lap-dog, on her tawdry Grace,
Commend her beauty, and belie her glass,
By which she every morning primes her face;
Sneak to his Honour, call him witty, brave,
And just, though a known coward, fool or knave;
And praise his lineage and nobility
Whose arms at first came from the Company.

'Tis so, 'twas ever so, since heretofore
The blind old bard, with dog and bell before
Was fain to sing for bread from door to door;
The needy Muses all turned gipsies then,
And of the begging trade e'er since have been.

My own hard usage here I need not press,
Where you have every day before your face
Plenty of fresh resembling instances.
Great Cowley's muse the same ill treatment had,
Whose verse shall live for ever to upbraid
The ungrateful world that left such worth unpaid.
Waller himself may thank inheritance
For what he else had never got by sense.
On Butler who can think without just rage,
The glory and the scandal of the age?
Fair stood his hopes when first he came to town,
Met everywhere with welcomes of renown,
Courted, and loved by all, with wonder read,And promises of princely favour fed;
But what reward for all had he at last,
After a life in dull expectance passed?

The wretch at summing up his misspent days
Found nothing left but poverty and praise;
Of all his gains by verse he could not save
Enough to purchase flannel and a grave;
Reduced to want, he in due time fell sick,
Was fain to die, and be interred on tick;
And well might bless the fever that was sent
To rid him hence, and his worse fate prevent.

All trades and all professions here abound,
And yet encouragement for all is found;
Here a vile empiric, who by license kills,
Who every week helps to increase the bills,
Wears velvet, keeps his coach, and jade beside,
For what less villains must to Tyburn ride.
There a dull trading sot, in wealth o'ergrown
By thriving knavery, can call his own
A dozen manors, and, if fate still bless,
Expects as many counties to possess.
Punks, panders, bawds, all their due pensions gain,
And every day the great men's bounty drain;
Lavish expense on wit, has never yet
Been taxed among the grievances of state.

Then be advised, the slighted Muse forsake,
And Coke and Dalton for thy study take;
For fees each term sweat in the crowded hall,
And there for charters and cracked titles bawl;
Or else to orders and the church betake
Thyself, and that thy future refuge make;
There fawn on some proud patron to engage
The advowson of cast punk and parsonage.
Or soothe the Court, and preach up kingly right,
To gain a prebend or a mitre by 't.
In fine, turn pettifogger, canonist,
Civilian, pedant, mountebank or priest,
Soldier or merchant, fiddler, painter, fencer,
Jack-pudding, juggler, player or rope-dancer;
Preach, plead, cure, fight, game, pimp, beg, cheat or thieve;
Be all but poet, and there's way to live.





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