Poetry Explorer- Classic Contemporary Poetry, RAMPSINITUS AND THE ROBBERS; AN EGYPTIAN TALE, by JOHN GODFREY SAXE


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Classic and Contemporary Poetry

RAMPSINITUS AND THE ROBBERS; AN EGYPTIAN TALE, by                     Poet's Biography
First Line: In charming old herodotus
Last Line: Thus flourish and increase!
Subject(s): Egypt


IN charming old Herodotus,
If you were college-bred,
The Tale of Rampsinitus
You may, perchance, have read;
If not, 't is little matter, --
You may read it here instead.

This Rampsinitus was a king
Who lived in days of old,
And, finding that his treasury
Was quite too small to hold
His jewels and his money-bags
Of silver and of gold,

He built a secret chamber,
With this intent alone
(That is, he got an architect
And caused it to be done),
A most substantial structure
Of mortar and of stone.

A very solid building
It appeared to every eye,
Except the master-mason's,
Who plainly could espy
One stone that fitted loosely
When the masonry was dry.

A dozen years had vanished,
When, in the common way,
The architect was summoned
His final debt to pay;
And thus unto his children
The dying man did say: --

"Come hither now, my darling sons,
Come, list my children twain,
I have a little secret
I am going to explain;
'T is a comfort, now I'm dying,
That I have n't lived in vain."

And then he plainly told them
Of the trick that he had done;
How in the royal chamber
He had put a sliding stone, --
"You'll find it near the bottom,
On the side that's next the sun.

"Now I feel that I am going;
Swift ebbs the vital tide;
No longer in this wicked world
My spirit may abide."
And so this worthy gentleman
Turned up his toes and died.

It was n't long before the sons
Improved the father's hint,
And searched the secret chamber
To discover what was in 't;
And found, by self-promotion,
They were "Masters of the Mint!"

At length King Rampsinitus
Perceived, as well he might,
His caskets and his money-bags
Were getting rather light;
"And yet," quoth he, "my bolts and bars
Are all exactly right!

"I wonder how the cunning dog
Has managed to get in;
However, it is clear enough,
I'm losing lots of tin;
I'll try the virtue of a trap
Before the largest bin!"

In came the thief that very night,
And soon the other chap,
Who waited at the opening,
On hearing something snap,
Went in and found his brother
A-sitting in the trap.

"You see me in a pretty fix!"
The gallant fellow said;
"'T is better, now, that one should die
Than both of us be dead.
Lest two should be detected,
Cut off my foolish head!"

"Indeed," replied the other,
"Such a cut were hardly kind,
And to obey your order,
I am truly disinclined;
But, as you're the elder brother,
I suppose I ought to mind."

So, with his iron hanger
He severed, at a slap,
The noddle of the victim,
Which he carried through the gap,
And left the bleeding body
A-sitting in the trap.

His Majesty's amazement
Of course was very great,
On entering the chamber
That held his cash and plate,
To find the robber's body
Without a bit of pate!

To solve the mighty mystery
Was now his whole intent;
And everywhere, to find the head,
His officers were sent;
But every man came back again
No wiser than he went.

At last he set a dozen men
The mystery to trace;
And bade them watch the body
In a very public place,
And note what signs of sorrow
They might see in any face.

The robber, guessing what it meant,
Was naturally shy;
And, though he mingled in the crowd,
Took care to "mind his eye,"
For fear his brother's body-guard
His sorrow should espy.

"I'll cheat 'em yet!" the fellow said;
And so that very night,
He planned a cunning stratagem
To get the soldiers "tight";
And steal away his brother's trunk
Before the morning light.

He got a dozen asses,
And put upon their backs
As many loads as donkeys
Of wine in leather sacks;
Then set the bags a-leaking
From a dozen little cracks.

Then going where the soldiers
Were keeping watch and ward,
The fellows saw the leaking wine
With covetous regard,
And straightway fell a-drinking,
And drank extremely hard.

The owner stormed and scolded
With well-affected spunk,
But still they kept a-drinking
Till all of them were drunk;
And so it was the robber
Stole off his brother's trunk!

Now when King Rampsinitus
Had heard the latest news,
'T is said his royal Majesty
Expressed his royal views
In language such as gentlemen
Are seldom known to use.

Now when a year had vanished,
He formed another plan
To catch the chap who'd stolen
The mutilated man;
And summoning the Princess,
His Majesty began: --

"My daughter, hold a masquerade,
And offer -- as in fun --
Five kisses (in your chamber)
To every mother's son
Who'll tell the shrewdest mischief
That he has ever done.

"If you chance to find the robber
By the trick that I have planned,
Remember, on the instant,
To seize him by the hand,
Then await such further orders
As your father may command."

The Princess made the party,
Without the least dissent.
'T was a general invitation,
And everybody went, --
The robber with the others,
Though he guessed the king's intent

Now when the cunning robber
Was questioned, like the rest,
He said: "Your Royal Highness,
I solemnly protest
Of all my subtle rogueries,
I scarce know which is best;

"But I venture the opinion,
'T was a rather pretty job,
When, having with my hanger
Cut off my brother's nob,
I managed from the soldiers
His headless trunk to rob!"

And now the frightened Princess
Gave a very heavy groan,
For, to her consternation,
The cunning thief had flown,
And left the hand she grappled
Still lying in her own!

(For he a hand had borrowed,
'T is needful to be said,
From the body of a gentleman
That recently was dead,
And that he gave the Princess
The moment that he fled!)

Then good King Rampsinitus
Incontinently swore
That this paragon of robbers
He would persecute no more
For such a clever rascal
Had never lived before!

And in that goodly company,
His Majesty declared
That if the thief would show himself
His person should be spared,
And with his only daughter
In marriage should be paired!

And when King Rampsinitus
Had run his mortal lease,
He left them in his testament
Just half a crown apiece;
May every modest merit
Thus flourish and increase!





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