Poetry Explorer- Classic Contemporary Poetry, PADDY MINOGUE'S MOSQUITO-NET, by J. SAYERS


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Classic and Contemporary Poetry

PADDY MINOGUE'S MOSQUITO-NET, by                    
First Line: Twas red hot weather on croydon field
Last Line: Poor paddy minogue's mosquito-net.
Subject(s): Crime & Criminals; Deception; Mosquitoes


'TWAS red hot weather on Croydon field—
The days were bad, but the nights were worse,
For the sultry nights no respite yield
And mosquitoes there are a flaming curse:
They'd devour a man in a night, I bet,
If he didn't have a mosquito-net.

The man, or the madman, who sought repose
Without his curtains was courting death;
Blankets were "off", and the thought of clothes
Brought stifling sensations and gasps for breath.
We'd lie on the top of our bunks and sweat
Stark naked beneath a mosquito-net.

A cry of "Murder!" rang through the night.
We didn't stir—it was beastly dark;
And it wasn't our funeral—let 'em fight;
Or it might be someone having a lark.
Besides it would cause us extreme regret
To have to quit our mosquito-net.

But Paddy Minogue, in the tent next ours,
Excitable fellow! was not the one
To lie at ease—"be the holy powers"—
While murder most foul was being done.
In a moment Minogue was out of his tent
Arrayed in his boots and away he went.

The cries receded as Paddy neared,
And shortly ceased and the night was still.
The deadly deed had been done, he feared,
He fossicked about the foot of the hill
In his office of good Samaritan,
But failed to discover a wounded man.

Pat's only apparel was on his feet,
So Pat, in his nakedness, being beset
By swarms of mosquitoes made haste to retreat
To the folds of his white mosquito-net.
But torrents of "language" found sudden vent
The moment Minogue re-entered his tent.

"What are you prayin' for, mate?" we cried,
As the crimson stream of his speech flowed on,
"Oh! the black-hearted villains!" poor Pat replied—
"Me lovely musketeer curtain's gone."
The "murder" was simply a scheme to get
Poor Paddy Minogue's mosquito-net.





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