Poetry Explorer- Classic Contemporary Poetry, ADVICE TO THE LADIES OF LONDON IN THE CHOICE OF HUSBANDS, by ANONYMOUS


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Classic and Contemporary Poetry

ADVICE TO THE LADIES OF LONDON IN THE CHOICE OF HUSBANDS, by                    
First Line: "ladies of london, both wealthy and fair"
Last Line: "if this don't please, old nick is in you"
Subject(s): Marriage; Weddings;husbands;wives


Ladies of London, both wealthy and fair,
Whom every Town Fop is pursuing,
Still of your Persons and Purses take care
The greatest deceit lies in wooing.
From the first rank of the bonny brisk sparks,
Their Vices I here will discover,
Down to the basest mechanick Degree,
That so you may chuse out your Lover.

First for the Courtier, look to his Estate,
Before he too far be proceeding;
He of Court Favours and Places will prate,
And settlements make of his breeding:
Nor wear the yoak with dull Country Clown,
Who, though they are fat in their Purses,
Brush you with Brissles and, toping full Fowl,
Make Love to their Dogs and their Horses.

But, above all, the rank Citizen hate;
The Court or the Country chuse rather;
Would you have a Blockhead that gets an Estate,
By the Sins of the Cuckold his Father?
The sneaking Clown intreaguing does mar,
The apprentices huffing and ranting:
Cit. puts on his Sword when without Temple-Bar,
To go to Whitehall a gallanting.

Let no spruce Officer keep you in awe,
The Sword is a thing Transitory;
Nor be blown up by the Lungs of the Law,
A World has been cheated before you:
Soon you will find your Captain grow bold,
And then 'twill be hard to o'ercome him;
But if the Lawyer touch your Copy-hold,
The Devil will ne'er get it from him.

Fly, like the Plague, the huffing brave Boys,
That Court you with lying Bravadoes,
Tyring your senses with Bombast and Noise,
And Stories brought from the Barbadoes.
And be sure ever shun the Doctor, that Fool,
Who seeking to mend your Condition,
Tickles your Pulse, and peeps in your Close-stool,
Then sets up for; a famous Physitian.

Chuse not a spark that has known the town,
Who makes it his Practice to Bully;
You'd better take up with a country clown,
He'l make an officious cully.
You with a word may his Passion appease
And make him a Cuckold at leasure,
Give him but money to live at his ease,
You may follow Intregues at your Pleasure.

Neither admire much a man that is wise
If e're you intend to deceive him,
He cunning plots and intreagues will devise
And trap you, e're you shall perceive him;
Therefore beware that he never disclose
Your tricks, if he do's he will slight you;
He'l keep a gay mistriss under your nose
If it be but on purpose to spight you.

But if you'd thrive, and grow wealthy apace,
Then marry a doting old sinner;
What if you view there Old Time in his face,
You will by that bargain be winner.
You may have lusty Gallants good store,
If you can produce but th' Guinea,
And those young coxcombs your face will adore
If this don't please, old Nick is in you.






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