OF all the mismated pairs ever created The worst of the lot were the Spratts. Their life was a series of quibbles and queries And quarrels and squabbles and spats. They argued at breakfast, they argued at tea, And they argued from midnight to quarter past three. The family Spratt-head was rather a fat-head, And a bellicose body to boot. He was selfish and priggish and worse, he was piggish -- A regular beast of a brute. At table his acts were incredibly mean; He gave his wife fat -- and @3he@1 gobbled the lean! What's more, she was censured whenever she ventured To dare to object to her fare; He said "It ain't tasteful, but we can't be wasteful; And @3someone@1 must eat what is there!" But his coarseness exceeded all bounds of control When he laughed at her Art and the State of her Soul. So what with his jeering and fleering and sneering, He plagued her from dawn until dark. He bellowed "I'll teach ye to read Shaw and Nietzsche" -- And he was as bad as his bark. "The place for a woman-----" he'd start, very glib. . . . And so on, for two or three hours @3ad lib@1. So very malignant became his indignant Remarks about "Culture" and "Cranks," That at last she revolted. She up and she bolted And entered the militant ranks. . . . When she died, after breaking nine-tenths of the laws, She left all her money and jewels to the Cause! And @3THE MORAL@1 is this (though a bit abstruse) What's sauce for a more or less proper goose, When it rouses the violent, feminine dander, Is apt to be sauce for the propaganda. | Discover our Poem Explanations and Poet Analyses!Other Poems of Interest...TO OUR BLESSED LADY (1) by HENRY CONSTABLE THE COASTERS by THOMAS FLEMING DAY THE WALLS DO NOT FALL: 4 by HILDA DOOLITTLE IN HOSPITAL: 10. STAFF NURSE: NEW STYLE by WILLIAM ERNEST HENLEY THE ROSE OF PEACE by WILLIAM BUTLER YEATS TRANQUIL HABIT by AUGUSTE ANGELLIER |