REMARKS ON DR. AKENSIDE'S AND MR. WHITEHEAD'S VERSES by JOHN BYROM

@3WHITHER is Europe's ancient spirit fled?@1
How came this query in the Doctor's head?
"Whither is Britain's?"———one had sooner guess'd
In ode to his own countrymen address'd:
But it must certainly be Europe's spirit,
As six outlandish rivers soon infer it.

Of @3valiant tenants on her shore@1 'tis said,
They @3from the warrior how the strong dart sped@1—
Let how be warrior, and let dart be strong,
Verse does not speed so speedily along;
@3The strong dart sped@1—does but go "thump, thump, thump;"
Which quick as thrown should pierce the liver plump.

@3And with firm hand the rapid pole-axe bore;@1
If it had been @3the rapid dart@1 before,
And @3the strong pole-axe@1 here, it had agreed
With a firm hold as well, and darting speed:
Whither are fled from Ode-versification
The ancient "Pleasures of Imagination?"

Really these fighting poets want a tutor
To teach them "Ultra crepidam ne sutor;"
To teach the Doctor, and to teach the Laureat,
"Ex Helicone sanguinem ne hauriat;"
Tho' blood and wounds infect its limpid stream,
It should run clear before they sing a theme.

Ye @3Britons rouse to deeds of death!@1—says one;
@3Whither,@1 the next, @3is Europe's spirit gone?@1
While real warriors think it all a farce
For them to bounce of either Mors or Mars;
Safe as one @3sacks it@1 under bloodless bay,
And sure as t' other even @3death@1 must pay.

But you shall hear what Captain ***** said,
When he had heard both Ode and Verses read:
On mottos—@3versibus exacuit,@1
And @3proles militum@1—he mus'd a bit;
Then having cast his hunting wits about
In quest of rhymes, he thus at last broke out,—

"Poh! let my Serjeant when his dose is taken,
"BRITONS STRIKE HOME! with moisten'd pipe rehearse,
@3"To deeds of death@1 'twill sooner much awaken,
"Than cart loads full of such poor Ode and Verse.
"If these two bards will by a tuneful labour,
"Show without sham, their love to killing life,
"Let Akenside go @3thump@1 upon a tabor,
"And Whitehead grasp th' @3exacuating@1 fife."

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