CUM RATIONE INSANIRE by WILLIAM COWPER

I AM a Caledonian born
And in the British Senate
Have sounded oft Sedition's horn
"For vary weal I ken it".

When London blazed then I was warm,
Association-drunk,
And hoped in that illustrious storm
Britannia should have sunk.

Two themes I chose, Popery one,
Prerogative the other,
And Tag and Rag by canting won
And Bob-tail and his brother.

Tried and acquitted (none can tell
On what sufficient reason)
On other projects soon I fell,
Still hank'ring after treason.

I raved and bawl'd with such a noise
As we're in Homer told
Ulysses made, as big a voice
As a man's head could hold.

And all to show how well inclin'd
I stood to ev'ry measure
In Congress plann'd—To ease my mind—
And for my own good pleasure.

Fam'd d'Adhemar I worried next
For popular diversion,
And Royal Antoinitta vex'd
With libellous aspersion.

The Pris'ners too in Newgate all
To mutiny exciting
I taught them on their knees to fall
With pray'rs of my inditing.

Convict at last, I fled the Land,
And set my patriot shoulder
To help the Dutchman to withstand
And shove out the Stadtholder.

But thence expell'd, I took it ill,
Renounced my own Baptismal,
And with long beard made longer still
My length of visage dismal.

No Christian then—I'm now a Jew,
And as my last good work
Hope yet to prove the Koran true,
And die a turban'd Turk.

These and a thousand pranks beside
Of similar complexion
Prove me at all points qualified
For Akerman's protection.

You call me mad, but, if you dare,
E'en turn me loose and try
Who best deserves that blame to bear,
You, my good friend, or I.

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