Poetry Explorer

Classic and Contemporary Poetry

A LOVERS' QUARREL by HENRY AUSTIN DOBSON

Poet Analysis

First Line: IF I WERE YOU, WHEN LADIES AT THE PLAY, SIR
Last Line: [WALTZ -- EXEUNT.
Subject(s): LOVE - COMPLAINTS;
' -- romprons-nous,
Ou ne romprons-nous pas?' -- LE DEPIT AMOUREUX.

NELLIE.

IF I were you, when ladies at the play, sir,
Beckon and nod, a melodrama through,
I would not turn abstractedly away, sir,
If I were you!

FRANK.

If I were you, when persons I affected,
Wait for three hours to take me down to Kew,
I would, at least, pretend I recollected,
If I were you!

NELLIE.

If I were you, when ladies are so lavish,
Sir, as to keep me every waltz but two,
I would not dance with odious Miss M'Tavish,
If I were you!

FRANK.

If I were you, who vow you cannot suffer
Whiff of the best, -- the mildest 'honey-dew,'
I would not dance with smoke-consuming Puffer,
If I were you!

NELLIE.

If I were you, I would not, sir, be bitter,
Even to write the 'Cynical Review'; --

FRANK.

No, I should doubtless find flirtation fitter,
If I were you!

NELLIE.

Really! You would? Why, Frank, you're quite delightful, --
Hot as Othello, and as black of hue;
Borrow my fan. I would not look so frightful,
If I were you!

FRANK.

'It is the cause.' I mean your chaperon is
Bringing some well-curled juvenile. Adieu!
I shall retire. I'd spare that poor Adonis,
If I were you!

NELLIE.

Go, if you will. At once! And by express, sir!
Where shall it be? To China -- or Peru?
Go. I should leave inquirers my address, sir,
If I were you!

FRANK.

No, -- I remain. To stay and fight a duel
Seems, on the whole, the proper thing to do; --
Ah, you are strong, -- I would not then be cruel,
If I were you!

NELLIE.

One does not like one's feelings to be doubted, --

FRANK.

One does not like one's friends to misconstrue, --

NELLIE.

If I confess that I a wee-bit pouted? --

FRANK.

I should admit that I was pique, too.

NELLIE.

Ask me to dance! I'd say no more about it,
If I were you!
[Waltz -- Exeunt.



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