Poetry Explorer


Classic and Contemporary Poetry


UPON THE KING'S GREAT PORTER by JOHN HALL (1627-1656)

First Line: SIR, OR GREAT GRANDSIRE, WHOSE VAST BULK MAY BE
Last Line: APPEAR LIKE SKULLS MARCH'D O'ER BY TAMBERLANE.

SIR, or great grandsire, whose vast bulk may be
A burying place for all your pedigree;
Thou moving Coloss, for whose goodly face
The Rhine can hardly make a looking-glass:
What piles of victuals had thou need to chew,
Ten woods or marrets' throats were not enough.
Dwarf was he, whose wife's bracelet fit his thumb;
It would not on thy little finger come:
If Jove in getting Hercules spent three
Nights, he might spend fifteen in getting thee:
What name or title suits thy greatness, thou,
@3Aldiboronifuscophonio@1?
When giants warred with Jove, hadst thou been one,
Where others oaks, thou would'st have mountains thrown;
Wer'st thou but sick, what help could e'er be wrought,
Unless physicians posted down thy throat;
Were thou to die, and Xerxes living, he
Would not pare Athos for to cover thee;
Were thou t' embalm, the surgeons needs must scale
Thy body, as when labourers dig a whale.
Great Sir! a people kneaded up in one!
We'll weigh thee by ship-burdens, not by th' stone.
What tempests might'st thou raise, what whirlwinds when
Thou breathes, thou great Leviathan of men!
Bend but thine eye, a countryman would swear
A regiment of Spaniards quartered there:
Smooth but thy brow, they'll say there were a plain
T' act York and Lancaster once o'er again!
That pocket pistol of the queen's might be
Thy pocket pistol, sans hyperbole;
Abstain from garrisons, since thou may eat
The Turk's or Mogul's titles at a bit:
Plant some new land, which ne'er will empty be,
If she enjoy her savages in thee:
Get from amongst us, since we only can
Appear like skulls march'd o'er by Tamberlane.



Home: PoetryExplorer.net