JOHN OSWALD MUGUFFIN he wanted to die 'Nd bring his career to an end; Of course, well -- he didn't say nothin' to me -- But that's what he told every friend. So one afternoon he went down to the pier, 'Nd folks saw him actin' most terribly queer; He prayed 'nd he sung, put his hand up to cough An' every one thought he was a-goin to jump off -- But he didn't. He may jump tomorrer Mornin' at ten -- Said he was goin' to Try it again -- But then. John Oswald he said he was tired of the earth -- Of its turmoil and struggle and strife -- 'Nd he made up his mind a long, long time ago He was just bound t' take his own life; 'Nd the very next time 'at he started to shave, Determined to die, he wus goin' t' be brave; So he stood up 'nd flourished the knife in despair 'Nd every one thought 'at he'd kill himself there -- But he didn't. He says 'at tomorrer Mornin' at ten He has a notion to Try it again -- But then. He went and bought arsenic, bought paris green, 'Nd cobalt 'nd all kinds of stuff 'Nd he took great delight in leaving it 'round -- Of course that was done for a bluff -- Then he rigged up his room with a horrible thing, That would blow his head off by pullin' a string. Folks heard the explosion -- rushed up -- on his bed John Oswald was lyin'. They whispered, "He's dead." But he wasn't. He riz up 'nd said: Couldn't say when He'd fully decide to Try it again -- But then. |