TO LADY H--, ON AN OLD RING FOUND AT TUNBRIDGE-WELLS by THOMAS MOORE

WHEN Grammont graced these happy springs,
And Tunbridge saw, upon her Pantiles,
The merriest wight of all the kings
That ever ruled these gay gallant isles;

Like us, by day, they rode, they walk'd,
At eve they did as we may do,
And Grammont just like Spencer talk'd,
And lovely Stewart smiled like you!

The only different trait is this,
That woman then, if man beset her,
Was rather given to saying "yes,"
Because as yet she knew no better!

Each night they held a coterie,
Where every fear to slumber charm'd,
Lovers were all they ought to be,
And husbands not the least alarm'd!

They call'd up all their school-day pranks,
Nor thought it much their sense beneath,
To play at riddles, quips, and cranks,
And lords show'd wit, and ladies teeth.

As -- "Why are husbands like the Mint?"
Because, forsooth, a husband's duty
Is just to set the name and print
That give a currency to beauty.

"Why is a garden's wilder'd maze
Like a young widow, fresh and fair?"
Because it wants some hand to raise
The weeds, which "have no business there!"

And thus they miss'd, and thus they hit,
And now they struck, and now they parried,
And some lay in of full-grown wit,
While others of a pun miscarried.

'Twas one of those facetious nights
That Grammont gave this forfeit ring
For breaking grave conundrum rites,
Or punning ill, or -- some such thing.

From whence it can be fairly traced
Through many a branch and many a bough,
From twig to twig, until it graced
The snowy hand that wears it now.

All this I'll prove, and then -- to you,
O Tunbridge! and your springs ironical,
I swear by H -- thc -- te's eye of blue,
To dedicate th' important chronicle.

Long may your ancient inmates give
Their mantles to your modern lodgers,
And Charles's love in H -- thc -- te live,
And Charles's bards revive in Rogers!

Let no pedantic fools be there,
For ever be those fops abolish'd,
With heads as wooden as thy ware,
And, Heaven knows! not half so polish'd.

But still receive the mild, the gay,
The few who know the rare delight
Of reading Grammont every day,
And acting Grammont every night!

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