At Cheltenham, where one drinks one's fill Of folly and cold water, I danced, last year, my first quadrille, With old Sir Geoffrey's daughter. Her cheek with Summer's rose might vie, When Summer's rose is newest; Her eyes were blue as Autumn's sky, When Autumn's sky is bluest: And well my heart might deem her one Of Life's most precious flowers, For half her thoughts were of its Sun, And half were of its Showers. I spoke of Novels: -- 'Vivian Grey' Was positively charming, And 'Almack's' infinitely gay, And 'Frankenstein' alarming; I said 'De Vere' was chastely told, Thought well of 'Herbert Lacy', Called Mr Banim's sketches 'bold', And Lady Morgan's 'racy': I vowed that last new thing of Hook's Was vastly entertaining; And Laura said -- 'I doat on books, Because it's always raining!' I talk'd of Music's gorgeous fane; I raved about Rossini, Hoped Ronzi would come back again, And criticised Pacini; I wish'd the chorus-singers dumb, The trumpets more pacific, And eulogised Brocard's @3a plomb@1, And voted Paul 'terrific'. What cared she for Medea's pride, Or Desdemona's sorrow? 'Alas!' my beauteous listener sigh'd, 'We @3must@1 have rain to-morrow!' I told her tales of other lands; Of ever-boiling fountains, Of poisonous lakes, and barren sands, Vast forests, trackless mountains: I painted bright Italian skies, I lauded Persian roses, Coin'd similes for Spanish eyes, And jests for Indian noses: I laugh'd at Lisbon's love of Mass, Vienna's dread of treason; And Laura ask'd me where the glass Stood at Madrid last season. I broach'd whate'er had gone its rounds, The week before, of scandal: What made Sir Luke lay down his hounds, And Jane take up her Handel; Why Julia walk'd upon the heath, With the pale Moon above her; Where Flora lost her false front teeth, And Anne her falser lover; How Lord de B. and Mrs L. Had crossed the sea together; My shuddering partner cried - 'O Ciel! How @3could@1 they - in such weather?' Was she a Blue? - I put my trust In strata, petals, gases; A Boudoir-pedant? - I discuss'd The Toga and the Fasces; A Cockney-Muse? - I mouth'd a deal Of folly from Endymion; A Saint? - I praised the pious zeal Of Messrs Way and Simeon; A Politician? - it was vain, To quote the Morning Paper; The horrid phantoms came again, Rain, Hail, and Snow, and Vapour. Flat Flattery was my only chance: I acted deep devotion, Found magic in her every glance, Grace in her every motion; I wasted all a Stripling's lore, Prayer, passion, folly, feeling; And wildly look'd upon the floor, And wildly on the ceiling; I envied gloves upon her arm, And shawls upon her shoulder; And when my worship was most warm, She 'never found it colder'. I don't object to wealth or land: And she will have the giving Of an extremely pretty hand, Some thousands, and a living. She makes silk purses, broiders stools, Sings sweetly, dances finely, Paints screens, subscribes to Sunday schools, And sits a horse divinely. But to be linked for life to her! - The desperate man who tried it, Might marry a Barometer, And hang himself beside it! | Discover our Poem Explanations and Poet Analyses!Other Poems of Interest...IT'S A QUEER TIME by ROBERT RANKE GRAVES THE SCHRECKHORN by THOMAS HARDY POLWART ON THE GREEN by ALLAN RAMSAY A LOVE BARGAINE by JOSEPH BEAUMONT YOU, WHO HAVE SONS TO SPARE! by L. ALLEN BECK NATALIA'S RESURRECTION: 13 by WILFRID SCAWEN BLUNT A CURSE FOR A NATION: THE CURSE by ELIZABETH BARRETT BROWNING |