LINES ADDRESSED TO MONSIEUR ALEXANDRE, THE CELEBRATED VENTRILOQUIST by WALTER SCOTT

OF, yore, in old England, it was not thought good
To carry two visages under one hood;
What should folk say to you? who have faces such plenty,
That, from under one hood, last night show'd us twenty!
Stand forth, arch deceiver, and tell us in truth,
Are you handsome or ugly, in age or in youth?
Man, woman, or child -- a dog or a mouse?
Or are you, at once, each live thing in the house?
Each live thing, did I ask? -- each dead implement, too,
A workshop in your person, -- saw, chisel, and screw!
Above all, are you one individual? I know
You must be at least Alexandre and Co.
But I think you're a troop -- an assemblage -- a mob,
And that I, as the Sheriff, should take up the job;
And instead of rehearsing your wonders in verse,
Must read you the Riot Act, and bid you disperse.

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