CUPID ACQUITTED, A TALE by THOMAS WARTON THE ELDER

WHenever @3Jove@1 renews Mankind,
He makes @3A Will@1 for ev'ry Mind.
This Gift is @3different@1 in @3Most,@1
But @3Seldom@1 is by Any @3lost.@1
Some Folks—(now let who can deny it)
Give all they have to gratify it:
Some, to subdue, divide their Wills,
Like Rivers cut in little Rills,
That lessen to a @3shallow@1 Maze,
And feebly run a Hundred Ways:
The Wizard thus, (in Days of Yore)
That thought to lay th' @3Infernal Pow'r,@1
In Pieces broke his Magic Switch,
But found A Devil rose from Each.
Yet Some a Better Course pursue.——
—But to my @3Tale;@1—Muse! What say You?
Why, @3That@1 is plain, and short, and new.

Some Years ago One @3Astrophil@1
Was born and fitted with @3A Will;@1
No Matter Who he was, or What,
A Will He had;—I'm sure of @3That:@1
About that Time fair @3Stella@1 too
(GODS!—Who does not fair @3Stella@1 know?)
Was form'd The Wonder of Her Kind,
And had @3Her proper Will@1 assign'd.
Their Wills were stamp't so like (says Fame)
That Both were only Not the Same:
These help'd the @3Poets@1 in their Trade,
POPE'S Similies by These were made;
Hence too his Rhimes for ever hit,
Made (by These @3Wills@1) exactly fit.
In short, for Virtues, or for Follies,
These Wills were @3Pairs,@1 or @3Twins,@1 or @3Tallies.@1

Well! @3Hymen@1—(as you guess, no doubt,
And you guess right)—soon found 'em out,
And bound 'em fast, like two chain'd Books,
And, ever and anon was peeping,
To see if Time impair'd their Looks,
Or, if They alter'd, in @3His@1 keeping.
They alter'd Not. But @3Love,@1 one Day,
Convey'd (it seems) @3One Will@1 away;
And @3Which@1 was @3That?@1—Nay!—Who can say?

For @3Love@1 Himself, with All his Art,
Could @3not@1 tell Whose was Whose a-part.
Now @3Hymen,@1 you must think, complain'd,
That, "Tho' @3Himself Both Wills@1 had chain'd,
"Yet One—Ah! @3Only One@1 remain'd!—

"That @3Stella@1 now, or @3Astro-phil,@1
"Might come upon him for their @3Will:@1
"That, therefore @3Jove@1 the Cause should hear,
"And pray'd," That @3Cupid@1 might appear.

HE Did: And roundly took his Oath
That @3Jove@1 made—@3but One Will@1 for @3Both.@1
His strange Surprize He then declar'd,
" 'Twas Hard, He needs must say, 'twas hard,
"That HE should be involv'd in Strife,
"HE seldom troubl'd @3Man@1 and @3Wife.@1

"And—What @3in this@1 Case He might do—
"@3They@1 ne'er would blame him for't he knew;
"And—Why then, @3Hymen?@1 Why should You?
"Still; you shall never have your Ends,

"For @3This Dear Couple@1 were my @3Friends!"@1
With That—He turns to @3Swain@1 and @3Spouse,@1
And smiles, and leers, and sooths, and vows,
"For @3His@1 Part HE would serve 'em still,"
Then asks 'em (with A @3Courtier@1's Skill)
"If ever @3Either miss'd their Will?"@1

So, 'Tis @3Their@1 Business Now to speak,
And pray—What Answer shall They make?

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