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Classic and Contemporary Poetry


THE MISER'S ALTERNATIVE (A TRUE STORY) by AMOS RUSSEL WELLS

First Line: WE KNEW A MISER, CALM AND COLD
Last Line: "I'D MAKE IT INTO BUTTER."
Subject(s): MISERS;

We knew a miser, calm and cold,
Unutterably pious,
Whose grave professions, smugly bold,
Provokingly would try us.

He claimed that all he did or said
Jehovah instigated;
By heavenly promptings he was led,
And so he often stated.

He sold us milk, and raised the price
A cent a quart, explaining
The Lord had bade him make the rise,
It was of God's ordaining.

"But what," we asked him, "would you do
If God should tell you clearly
Milk must no more be sold by you,
But given to us merely?"

"Why, then" -- the miser did not shrink
His inmost thought to utter,
But said, before he stopped to think,
"I'd make it into butter."



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