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Classic and Contemporary Poetry


WHEN THE NEWSPAPERS HAVE NOTHING BETTER by AMOS RUSSEL WELLS

First Line: THEY ARRESTED WEARY WILLIE
Last Line: AND SO ON.
Subject(s): NEWSPAPERS; JOURNALISM; JOURNALISTS;

They arrested Weary Willie
And landed him in jail;
A plain case of assault it was,
Because he Hit the Trail.
-- The Chicago Breeze.

And little Gracie Greeley
Was very, very rude:
Though seemingly quite gentle,
She Struck an Attitude.
-- The St. Louis Push.

There's dashing Dicky Dawson,
A lad with yellow curls --
They hanged the chap last winter
For Sleighing all the Girls.
-- The New York Howl.

You've heard of Tommy Tippler.
They strung him up as well:
He used both cloves and cubebs,
And therewith Killed the Smell.
-- The Buffalo Bug.

And pretty Betty Blossom,
A peach, a perfect dream,
They had to jug the lassie
Because she Whipped the Cream.
-- The St. Louis Doubt.

They found that Signor Baton
Was guilty of a crime:
With little provocation
He madly Beat the Time.
-- The Minneapolis Mill.

And poor old Harry Hunter,
Of sturdy heart and limb,
Because he Shot the Rapids,
They executed him.
-- The Milwaukee Mug.
And so on.



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