DARWINISM IN THE KITCHEN by ANONYMOUS

I was takin' off my bonnet
One arternoon at three,
When a hinseck jumped upon it
As proved to be a flea.
Then I takes it to the grate,
Between the bars to stick it,
But I hadn't long to wait
Ere it changed into a cricket.
Says I, "Surelie my senses
Is a-gettin' in a fog!"
So to drown it I commences,
When it halters to a frog.
Here my heart began to thump,
And no wonder I felt funky;
For the frog, with one big jump,
Leaped hisself into a monkey.
Then I opened wide my eyes,
His features for to scan,
And observed, with great surprise,
That that monkey was a man.
But he vanished from my sight,
And I sunk upon the floor,
Just as missus with a light
Come inside the kitching door.
Then, beginnin' to abuse me,
She says, "Sarah, you've been drinkin'!"
I says, "No, mum, you'll excuse me,
But I've merely been a-thinkin'.
"But as sure as I'm a cinder,
That party what you see
A-gettin' out the winder
Have developed from a flea!"

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