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Classic and Contemporary Poetry

THE JOLLY TOPPER by ANONYMOUS

First Line: "THE WOMEN ALL TELL ME, I'M FALSE TO MY LASS"
Last Line: "SHOULD YOU DOUBT WHAT I SAY, TAKE A BUMPER AND TRY!"
Subject(s): DRINKS & DRINKING;
The Women all tell me, I'm false to my Lass;
That I quit my poor Chloe, and stick to my Glass!
But to you, Men of Reason, my reasons I'll own;
And if you don't like them, why, let them alone!

Although I have left her, the truth I'll declare!
I believe she was good; and am sure she was fair:
But goodness and charms in a Bumper I see,
That make it as good and as charming as she!

My Chloe had dimples and smiles, I must own!
But though she could smile; yet, in truth, she could frown:
But tell me, ye lovers of liquor divine!
Did you e'er see a frown in a Bumper of Wine?

Her lilies and roses were just in their prime;
Yet lilies and roses are conquered by time!
But in Wine, from its age such a benefit flows,
That we like it the better, the older it grows!

They tell me, my love would in time have been cloyed;
And that beauty's insipid, when once 'tis enjoyed:
But in Wine I both time and enjoyment defy,
For the longer I drink, the more thirsty am I!

Let Murders, and Battles, and History prove
The mischiefs that wait upon Rivals in Love:
But in drinking, thank Heaven! no Rival contends:
For the more we love liquor, the more we are friends!

We shorten our days, when with Love we engage;
It brings on diseases, and hastens old age:
But Wine, from grim Death can its votaries save;
And keep out t'other leg, when there's one in the grave!

Perhaps, like her Sex, ever false to their word,
She had left me, to get an estate, or a Lord:
But my Bumper, regarding no titles nor pelf,
Will stand by me, while I can't stand by myself!

She too might have poisoned the joy of my life
With nurses and babies, with squalling and strife,
But wine neither nurses nor babies can bring,
And a jolly big bottle's a mighty good thing.

Then let my dear Chloe no longer complain!
She's rid of her Lover; and I, of my pain!
For in Wine, mighty Wine! many comforts I spy!
Should you doubt what I say, take a Bumper and try!



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