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UNHOLY MISSIONS, by             Poet Analysis     Poet's Biography

"Unholy Missions" by Bob Kaufman is a poem steeped in irony and surreal humor, exploring fantastical and irreverent ideas that challenge conventional beliefs and societal norms. The poem’s playful tone and use of hyperbole serve to question accepted realities and the human propensity to impose meaning on the universe.

The poem begins with the speaker expressing a desire for a bizarre and unconventional afterlife: "I want to be buried in an anonymous crater inside the moon." This line sets the tone for the poem, suggesting a wish to escape the known world and its conventions, perhaps seeking anonymity even in death. The moon, often associated with mystery and otherworldliness, serves as an ideal place for such a burial.

"I want to build miniature golf courses on all the stars" continues the whimsical tone. The absurdity of placing something as mundane as a miniature golf course on the stars highlights the trivialization of the cosmic. It also reflects humanity's tendency to commercialize and trivialize the vastness of the universe, turning profound spaces into sites of leisure and entertainment.

The poem's third line, "I want to prove that Atlantis was a summer resort for cave men," humorously subverts the myth of Atlantis, suggesting it was a mundane vacation spot rather than an advanced civilization. This line plays on the human fascination with lost civilizations and our tendency to romanticize the past.

"I want to prove that Los Angeles is a practical joke played / on us by superior beings on a humorous planet" introduces a critique of urban culture, particularly the often superficial and entertainment-driven nature of Los Angeles. The idea of superior beings orchestrating the city as a joke reflects a cynical view of the city's lifestyle and values, suggesting that it is all part of a cosmic prank.

The poem delves into religious satire with "I want to expose Heaven as an exclusive sanitarium filled / with rich psychopaths who think they can fly." This line critiques the concept of Heaven, proposing instead that it is a place for the deluded wealthy who believe in their own superiority or spiritual elevation. It challenges the conventional notion of Heaven as a place of peace and purity, instead portraying it as an elitist institution.

"I want to show that the Bible was serialized in a Roman / children's magazine" continues the irreverence, suggesting that the sacred texts of Christianity were originally intended as simple stories for children. This line questions the authority and seriousness often attributed to religious texts, implying that they may be more simplistic or fantastical than commonly believed.

The line "I want to prove that the sun was born when God fell asleep / with a lit cigarette, tired after a hard night of judging" offers a comical and anthropomorphic portrayal of God. This image reduces the creation of the sun—a significant celestial event—to a mere accident, further emphasizing the poem's irreverent approach to grand narratives and cosmic events.

Finally, "I want to prove once and for all that I am not crazy" brings the poem to a personal and introspective conclusion. After listing a series of outlandish desires and observations, the speaker ironically asserts their sanity. This line underscores the poem’s playfulness and the absurdity of trying to rationalize the irrational or prove the impossible.

Overall, "Unholy Missions" uses humor and absurdity to critique societal and religious conventions. Kaufman plays with the reader's expectations, blending the fantastic with the mundane, and the sacred with the profane. The poem reflects on the human tendency to seek meaning in the universe and question established narratives, encouraging a perspective that embraces the absurd and challenges the status quo.


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