Classic and Contemporary Poetry: Explained

David Lehman’s "Sexism" presents a stark, ironic contrast between male and female perspectives on intimacy, employing a deceptively simple structure to explore the power dynamics in romantic relationships. The poem consists of two parallel stanzas, each outlining what is supposedly the "happiest moment" in a woman?s life and then a man’s life. By juxtaposing these gendered experiences, Lehman exposes the disparity in expectations, fulfillment, and agency within relationships.

The first stanza, describing the woman’s happiness, is laden with passivity and longing. Her joy comes from "the turn of her lover’s key / In the lock," signaling his return. Yet this is immediately complicated by her act of pretending to be asleep. This pretense suggests a kind of self-denial, a performance of acquiescence, which allows her to maintain the illusion of security. The phrase "trying to be / Quiet but clumsy, bumping into things" not only highlights the man?s inebriation but also subtly reinforces his dominant position—he is careless, disruptive, yet easily forgiven. His drunkenness is an implicit part of this ritual, an expected flaw in the masculine role, while the woman’s role is to accept him, "forgives him because she has him back / And doesn’t have to sleep alone." The final line suggests that her happiness is defined not by desire, but by the avoidance of loneliness.

The second stanza, by contrast, conveys a sense of freedom and autonomy in the male experience of happiness. The man’s moment of greatest contentment is not about return but departure. "He climbs out of bed / With a woman, after an hour’s sleep, / After making love," implying not emotional fulfillment but physical release. He is active, "pulls on / His trousers," "walks outside," and "pees in the bushes," all actions that reinforce his independence and connection to nature rather than to the woman he has just left. The climax of his happiness is a moment of solitude, standing beneath "the high August sky full of stars," an image of infinite possibility and vastness. His final act—"And gets in his car and drives home"—completes the contrast with the woman’s experience. His happiness is found in movement, escape, and the ability to leave, whereas hers is found in the return of the absent man.

Structurally, Lehman’s choice of short, declarative sentences contributes to the poem’s starkness, allowing the irony to emerge naturally. The lines mirror each other syntactically, reinforcing the comparison, yet their meanings diverge radically. The title, "Sexism," is provocative, forcing the reader to confront the implications of these gendered experiences. The poem does not explicitly state whether it is critiquing or simply observing these traditional roles, leaving space for interpretation. It could be read as a satirical exaggeration of stereotypical gender norms, or as an earnest reflection on the persistent inequalities in emotional labor and personal freedom.

Ultimately, "Sexism" exposes the inherent imbalance in romantic expectations, showing how societal norms shape happiness differently for men and women. The woman’s happiness is contingent upon another’s return; the man’s happiness is defined by his ability to leave. By presenting these experiences side by side, Lehman forces the reader to question the structures that dictate them, making the poem a sharp, unsettling commentary on intimacy, autonomy, and power.

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