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FOR K.J., LEAVING AND COMING BACK, by             Poet Analysis     Poet's Biography

Marilyn Hacker's "For K.J., Leaving and Coming Back" is an evocative meditation on love, separation, and the poignant intersections of lives that traverse different paths. The poem, set against the backdrop of the French countryside, captures the intimate moments and emotional landscapes of a relationship that oscillates between presence and absence.

The poem opens with a nostalgic recollection of the past year, marked by the drive from St.-Guilhem-le-Désert to St. Guiraud. The speaker and their partner arrive at a rented house, setting the stage for a period of domesticity contrasted with impending separation: "I'd stay; you'd go; that's where / our paths diverged." The simplicity of the statement belies the emotional complexity of their situation, hinting at the bittersweet nature of their relationship.

Hacker's attention to detail enriches the narrative. The iron key in the rusted lock, delivered like a "detective-story clue," introduces an element of mystery and anticipation. The imagery of "somnolent shudders" and the surreal vision of "two horses grazed on a roof across the street" create a dreamlike quality, reflecting the speaker's sense of dislocation and wonder.

The discovery of the house's interior, with its bookshelves filled with works by Verlaine, Camus, and Dostoevsky, adds a layer of intellectual and emotional resonance. The shared space, symbolized by the "white-clad brass bed" and the sunlight filtering through the "tree-filled window," becomes a sanctuary for the couple. Their efforts to make the house a home, including laying crisp sheets and setting up a table, signify their attempt to establish a foundation amidst the transience of their lives.

As the partner embarks on their Wanderjahr, the speaker remains, grappling with solitude and the longing for reunion. The scene of the partner's return, described with vivid immediacy, underscores the joy and relief of reconnection: "Sunburned, in shorts, a new haircut, / with Auden and a racing pulse I'd earned / by 'not being sentimental about / you,' I sprinted to 'La Populaire.' / You walked into my arms when you got out." This moment, charged with emotional intensity, highlights the deep bond between them, despite the physical and temporal distances that separate them.

The poem transitions to a reflection on the nature of their relationship, evolving from friendship to a deeper, more intimate connection. The "unambiguous decade / of friendship" and the "months of something new" capture the gradual and transformative nature of their bond. The acknowledgment of their shared nights and mornings in the brass bed signifies a claim to a space of love and intimacy that transcends mere physicality.

As the poem moves to the present, the speaker grapples with the absence of their partner, who has gone "to be a daughter in the capital." The routine of cooking, reading, and walking becomes a way to measure time and cope with longing. The speaker's reflection on "cooking things you don't like" and "falling asleep, book open" poignantly captures the loneliness and the efforts to fill the void left by their partner's departure.

Hacker's use of language, blending English with references to Provencal and langue d'oc, reflects the speaker's immersion in their surroundings and their emotional landscape. The poem's rhythm and rhyme mirror the speaker's attempts to find structure and meaning in the midst of separation: "My early walk, my late / walk mark the day's measures like rhyme."

The closing lines of the poem encapsulate the speaker's evolving understanding of their relationship and themselves. The "owned certainty; perpetual surprise" signifies a deeper acceptance of the uncertainties and surprises that come with love and life. The realization that these elements make their days "the right size" suggests a reconciliation with the complexities and unpredictabilities of their journey together.

In "For K.J., Leaving and Coming Back," Marilyn Hacker weaves a rich tapestry of memory, longing, and love. The poem's vivid imagery, emotional depth, and nuanced exploration of relationships offer a poignant and resonant reflection on the enduring power of connection amidst the flux of life.


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