Classic and Contemporary Poetry: Explained

Alicia Suskin Ostriker's poem "Encountering the Dead" is a haunting exploration of grief, memory, and the deep, lingering connection between the living and the dead. Through the narrative of a drive from Santa Monica to Pasadena, the poem reveals a transformative moment where the speaker comes to terms with the loss of her father, marking the end of a long period of mourning.

The poem begins with a scene that is at once ordinary and surreal: a drive at night under a full moon, with palm trees casting black shadows. This setting evokes a sense of solitude and introspection, as the speaker recalls the intense grief she experienced after her father's death. The mention of locking the car windows to keep out anything "pleasant or fragrant" captures the depth of her sorrow, suggesting that she had sought to insulate herself from the world’s beauty, unable to reconcile it with her loss.

The encounter with her father's ghostly image in a ladies' room mirror is a striking moment in the poem, one that symbolizes the profound and unsettling nature of grief. The bitterness she perceives in his face, and her paralysis upon seeing it, reflect the unresolved emotions that have haunted her for years. This spectral vision of her father serves as a metaphor for the way grief can make the deceased seem both present and absent, a persistent yet intangible presence in the mourner’s life.

As the speaker drives, she reflects on the lost opportunity to share mutual old age with her father, to "drink a beer and declare our love." This regret is poignant, underscoring the human desire for closure and the pain of unfulfilled relationships. However, it is at this moment of reflection that a significant shift occurs. The speaker experiences a sudden, almost physical sensation—"like iron slugs / Being pulled into a magnet"—that signals the end of her mourning. The sound "like a door clicking closed" metaphorically represents the finality of this emotional chapter, as she realizes that her grief has finally run its course.

In a powerful and unexpected twist, the speaker feels her father’s presence within her, rather than as a distant or external apparition. This merging of identities—where her father’s body aligns with her own, his eyes, shoulder blades, and limbs fitting into hers—is both eerie and comforting. It suggests that the process of mourning has transformed into a deeper, more integrated sense of connection. Her father is no longer a ghost haunting her from the outside; he has become a part of her, living within her in a way that transcends physical death.

The San Gabriel foothills, described as "approaching / Like parents," add a layer of symbolism to this moment of revelation. The foothills, standing between the speaker and the moon, act as both a literal and figurative boundary, marking the transition from grief to acceptance. Their parental imagery implies a sense of protection and guidance, as if they are shepherding her into a new phase of life where the memory of her father will be a constant, yet no longer painful, presence.

The poem concludes with a return to the mundane—suburb streets, the continuation of the drive—yet everything has changed. The speaker has moved from mourning to a state of reconciliation, where the memory of her father is integrated into her being, allowing her to move forward.

"Encountering the Dead" is a profound meditation on how grief can evolve from a consuming, isolating force into a source of strength and continuity. Ostriker's use of vivid imagery and the interplay between the physical and metaphysical create a powerful narrative that speaks to the universal experience of loss and the ways in which the dead remain with us, shaping our lives long after they are gone.

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