Classic and Contemporary Poetry: Explained

Alicia Suskin Ostriker's poem "What I Want" is a deeply introspective exploration of the desire for mental stillness and the challenge of surrendering control in order to truly listen to one's inner voice. The poem navigates the tension between the relentless pace of modern life and the yearning for deceleration, ultimately seeking a state of receptiveness where the true self can be heard.

The poem opens with an invocation of the famous Latin phrase from Ovid's "Metamorphoses": "O lente, lente, currite noctis equi" ("Oh, slow down, slow down, horses of the night"). This sets the tone for the speaker's desire to slow the pace of life, to let the mind decelerate. The image of taking one's "foot off the gas" and letting the "Buick roll[] to a stop" is a powerful metaphor for this desired mental deceleration. The speaker longs to escape the constant rush of thoughts and stimuli, symbolized by "spinning spokes" and "hot / Rubber"—the relentless drive of modern life that propels her forward, often without pause.

As the poem progresses, the speaker addresses the various "missiles rushing / Through my neural nets," the "eighteen-wheelers / On the brain's interstate highways," and the "sharp / Dealers on the trading floor of rhetorics." These images evoke the frenetic energy of a mind that is constantly active, processing, and producing. The speaker pleads for these forces to "Hush now, slide over, / Let somebody else speak for a change!" This is a call to quiet the external noise and mental chatter, to make space for something deeper and more profound to emerge.

The speaker expresses a desire to "listen to the announcements / Of the inner mind / And its committee of guides." This inner mind is portrayed as a wise but often ignored entity that requires silence and respect, akin to "teachers / In a rowdy classroom." The comparison of the inner mind to a teacher trying to introduce a "foreign child who waits / With downcast eyes" suggests that the insights the speaker seeks are delicate, easily overlooked, and in need of careful attention.

Ostriker then shifts to a more personal and vulnerable reflection. The speaker contemplates using solitude to "discover [her] true feeling about [her] mastectomy," or to "surrender [herself] / To the adoration [she] feel[s] for X," but immediately recognizes that these intentions may not be the true purpose of her inner exploration. She acknowledges that "Whatever [she] can consciously intend, / By definition isn't it." This insight points to the limitations of conscious thought and intention in accessing the deeper truths that reside within.

The poem emphasizes the importance of quieting the mind: "Hush. Quiet the mind." This is reinforced by the reference to the Taoist concept that "The Tao that can be spoken / Is not the true Tao," suggesting that true wisdom and understanding cannot be fully articulated or grasped through language or deliberate thought. Instead, they require a surrender of the need to control, to define, or to create, even as the speaker wrestles with her identity as a poet—someone who seeks to "metabolize experience / Into poems."

The poem concludes with the speaker expressing a desire to "listen" and to "follow instructions," signaling a willingness to let go of her usual ways of thinking and to be guided by something beyond her conscious mind. The date and location at the end of the poem—"6/27/91, Chester, Mass., commencing a week's retreat"—suggest that this poem is part of a larger process of introspection and retreat, a deliberate step back from the demands of daily life to seek a deeper connection with herself.

"What I Want" is a meditation on the difficulty and necessity of slowing down, quieting the mind, and allowing space for the inner self to speak. Ostriker's poem captures the struggle to surrender control and the yearning for a deeper understanding that can only come through stillness and attentive listening. It is a poem that resonates with anyone who has felt the pressures of modern life and the need to reconnect with the quiet, often hidden truths within.

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