Classic and Contemporary Poetry: Explained

Anne Sexton’s "Eighteen Days Without You: December 2nd" is a surreal and haunting exploration of grief, loss, and the disturbing power of dreams in the wake of separation. The poem captures the intense emotional turbulence experienced by the speaker as she navigates her subconscious mind, where the memories of her mother’s death and the absence of her lover merge into a nightmarish landscape. Through vivid, often unsettling imagery, Sexton delves into the disorienting effects of loss and the way it warps reality in the dream state.

The poem begins with the speaker describing her sleep, which takes place "under a bird's shadow," immediately setting a tone of foreboding. The "nuthatches at the feeder" in her dream represent a small, seemingly insignificant detail, yet they are "jailed to its spine," suggesting a sense of confinement and inevitability. The birds, like the speaker, are trapped, "waiting for slow / death in the hateful December snow." This image of entrapment and impending death reflects the speaker's own feelings of despair and the suffocating nature of her grief.

The mention of "Mother's death" coming "in the spotlight" introduces a central theme of the poem— the unresolved trauma of losing a parent. The mother, who "slammed the door" when the speaker needed her, symbolizes the abandonment and the emotional wounds that continue to haunt the speaker. This memory is juxtaposed with the lover's presence "at the door yesterday," a fleeting encounter that brings no comfort. The lover, now "grown white," represents both the passage of time and the loss of vitality in their relationship, as he mechanically repeats "what lovers say," offering no genuine solace.

In the dream, the lover transforms into a "weird stone man," a figure who is emotionally distant and unchanging. His "mouth sewn like a seam" evokes an image of enforced silence, as if he is unable or unwilling to communicate, further deepening the speaker’s sense of isolation. The lover is reduced to a "dressmaker's dummy" with a "caved-in waist," a grotesque and dehumanized version of his former self, embodying the speaker’s feelings of betrayal and disillusionment. The metaphor of being "all muslin, a faded cream" suggests a lifeless, colorless existence, drained of vibrancy and warmth.

The speaker attempts to "rearrange" this distorted version of her lover, placing him in "six rooms," perhaps an attempt to impose order or regain control. However, this effort is futile as the "thread popped and spoke," leading to an "uncovered scream" that jolts her awake. The scream symbolizes the release of suppressed emotions, the raw and unfiltered anguish that lies beneath the surface of her consciousness. The act of waking from this dream does not bring relief, but rather a continuation of the torment, as the speaker resorts to taking a pill to force herself back to sleep.

The second dream sequence is even more nightmarish. The speaker sees herself as "a criminal in solitary," both "cripple and crook," suggesting a deep sense of guilt and self-loathing. The metaphor of having "picked ruby eyes from men" implies a theft of life or vitality, as if the speaker has been complicit in the destruction or corruption of others. This self-perception is reinforced when she becomes "one-legged," physically embodying her sense of incompleteness and vulnerability.

The lover, now transformed into a figure of oppression, "dragged [her] off by [his] Nazi hook." This image of violence and dehumanization reflects the speaker's feelings of being objectified and degraded, reduced to "the piece of bad meat they made you carry." The reference to Nazis adds a layer of historical trauma and horror, emphasizing the depth of the speaker’s psychological suffering. The bruises she carries are both physical and emotional, marks of the abuse and neglect she has endured.

The poem ends on a note of bitter resignation: "Dreaming gives one such bad luck / and I had ordered this." The speaker acknowledges the destructive power of her dreams, recognizing that they are a reflection of her own internal turmoil. The phrase "I had ordered this" suggests a sense of complicity, as if she believes that she has somehow brought this suffering upon herself, whether through her choices, her relationships, or her inability to move beyond her past traumas.

"Eighteen Days Without You: December 2nd" is a powerful exploration of the ways in which grief and loss manifest in the subconscious, transforming reality into a surreal and often terrifying experience. Through her use of unsettling imagery and fragmented, dreamlike narrative, Sexton captures the psychological disintegration that accompanies profound emotional pain. The poem offers a glimpse into the speaker’s haunted inner world, where the boundaries between past and present, reality and nightmare, are blurred, leaving her trapped in a cycle of despair and longing.

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