Classic and Contemporary Poetry: Explained

In "Felo de Se" by Elinor Wylie, the speaker expresses a profound and painful act of emotional and spiritual detachment from a beloved. The phrase "felo de se," which is a legal term referring to someone who commits suicide, suggests that this detachment is not merely an emotional choice but one that cuts deep, as if the speaker is metaphorically killing a part of themselves in order to remove their attachment to the one they love. The poem explores themes of love, sacrifice, and the internal conflict between the heart and the mind, where the speaker is forced to sever their bond with the person they hold most dear.

The opening lines describe the speaker’s resolve to forget the beloved for love’s sake. The speaker insists that in order to please the beloved, they must "put you from my heart," signaling a paradox in which the act of separation is performed out of love. The desire to forget the beloved is not out of anger or rejection but out of an almost self-sacrificial urge to please them. The phrase "the better to please you" implies that the speaker believes the act of detachment is necessary for the beloved’s happiness or well-being, even though it causes them personal pain. This sets up the emotional tension of the poem: the speaker is compelled to forsake their own desires and emotional needs for the sake of the other.

The following lines deepen this paradox as the speaker resolves to make their spirit "set you / Beyond the power of the mind to seize you." The act of forgetting is elevated to a spiritual level, as the speaker desires to push the beloved beyond the reach of the mind, which is incapable of controlling the heart’s deep attachment. This separation is not merely intellectual but extends to the very core of the speaker’s being. The language of "unlearn to love you" and "remove you" indicates a forced unmaking of the bond, as if the speaker is trying to undo the very process of loving.

The intensity of this emotional conflict is underscored by the repetition of phrases like "Heart of my heart" and "the heart alone has courage." The speaker acknowledges that it is their heart that must make this painful decision, suggesting that the heart, while a source of love, is also the source of courage—an ironic twist, given that the heart’s decision ultimately leads to emotional destruction. The paradox of the heart's courage is made even clearer in the line "it is yourself that stills you / In all my pulses, and dissolves the marriage / Of soul and soul." The speaker’s attachment to the beloved is so strong that it actively inhibits their ability to move on. The phrase "dissolves the marriage / Of soul and soul" indicates that the bond between the speaker and the beloved is so intertwined that to sever it feels like a death of the soul itself.

Finally, the speaker states, "at the heart's core kills you," suggesting that the act of emotional detachment, though driven by love, ultimately leads to the death of the connection between the two individuals. This is the emotional and spiritual suicide implied by the title "Felo de Se," where the speaker’s act of cutting off the beloved not only severs the bond but also kills a part of their own heart and soul in the process. The emotional sacrifice is not without cost, and the speaker’s attempt to "unlearn" love ultimately leads to the destruction of the very part of themselves that loved in the first place.

In "Felo de Se," Elinor Wylie uses intense, paradoxical language to explore the internal battle between the heart’s deep emotional attachment and the mind’s rational desire for separation. The speaker’s willingness to sacrifice their love for the sake of the beloved, while noble, also reveals the personal cost of such a decision—emotionally, spiritually, and psychologically. The poem presents a powerful meditation on the complexity of love, the pain of letting go, and the sacrifice involved in attempting to sever an emotional bond. Ultimately, Wylie captures the destructive nature of this emotional struggle, where the act of detachment, though meant to preserve the beloved, results in the death of the speaker’s own emotional core.

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