Classic and Contemporary Poetry: Explained

Lawrence Raab’s "Marriage" is a meditation on fate, fear, and the fragile contingencies that shape a shared life. The poem captures a retrospective conversation between a couple, years into their relationship, as they reflect on the small moments that could have led them down entirely different paths. Through understated dialogue and revelation, Raab explores the tension between choice and inevitability, love and hesitation.

The poem opens with the couple looking back: "Years later they find themselves talking / about chances, moments when their lives / might have swerved off / for the smallest reason." The phrase "find themselves talking" suggests that this reflection is not deliberate but rather something that emerges naturally, as conversations in long relationships often do. The use of "might have swerved off" captures the delicate nature of fate—how a single decision, a moment’s hesitation, could have led to a completely different life.

The next lines introduce one such pivotal moment: "What if / I hadn’t phoned, he says, that morning? / What if you’d been out, / as you were when I tried three times / the night before?" The hypothetical "what if" questions highlight the speaker’s awareness of how easily things could have gone another way. The fact that he had "tried three times the night before" signals persistence, but also the possibility that he could have given up. This adds an element of chance—what if he had interpreted the unanswered calls as rejection?

Then comes the revelation: "Then she tells him a secret." The shift in focus heightens the emotional weight of the moment. "She’d been there all evening, and she knew / he was the one calling, which was why / she hadn’t answered." This confession rewrites the past, transforming what seemed like a missed connection into an intentional act of avoidance. Her silence was not accidental—it was deliberate, rooted in the recognition that answering the phone would change her life.

Her reasoning follows: "Because she felt— / because she was certain—her life would change / if she picked up the phone, said hello, / said, I was just thinking / of you." The line break after "Because she felt—" creates a pause, emphasizing hesitation. The phrase "because she was certain" is striking—rather than uncertainty, it was absolute knowledge of change that held her back. The simple phrase "I was just thinking / of you" is presented as a potential turning point, an ordinary sentence that carries extraordinary weight. The poem suggests that love, or the possibility of love, is often recognized before it is embraced, and that certainty can be just as paralyzing as doubt.

Her next admission deepens the complexity of the moment: "I was afraid, / she tells him." Fear, rather than indifference, kept her from answering. This fear is not explained explicitly, but it resonates with the weight of change, of surrendering to something larger than oneself. Love, in its most profound sense, requires a leap, and she hesitated on the edge of that leap.

The final lines shift to the next morning, when fate—or habit—intervened: "And in the morning / I also knew it was you, but I just / answered the phone / the way anyone / answers a phone when it starts to ring, / not thinking you have a choice." Here, the act of answering is no longer a conscious decision—it is reflexive, instinctual. The phrase "not thinking you have a choice" suggests that, in the end, some moments unfold not because of deliberation but because of momentum. She avoided the call when she recognized its significance, but when the morning came, she answered without hesitation, as if fate had finally taken over.

The brilliance of "Marriage" lies in its quiet revelation—that love is often shaped not just by grand gestures but by small, nearly missed moments. The poem explores the fragility of connection, the way fear and fate intertwine, and how the life we end up living is sometimes decided in an instant, by the simple act of picking up the phone.

Copyright (c) 2025 PoetryExplorer

Discover our Poem Explanations and Poet Analyses!

Other Poems of Interest...