Poetry Explorer- Classic Contemporary Poetry, OWEN SEAMAN; ESTABLISHES ENTENE CORDIALE IN MANNER GUY WETMORE CARRYL, by LOUIS UNTERMEYER



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OWEN SEAMAN; ESTABLISHES ENTENE CORDIALE IN MANNER GUY WETMORE CARRYL, by             Poet's Biography
First Line: Of all the mismated pairs ever created
Last Line: Is apt to be sauce for the propaganda.
Alternate Author Name(s): Lewis, Michael
Subject(s): Art & Artists; Carryl, Guy Wetmore (1873-1904); Life; Quarrels; Seaman, Owen, Sir (1861-1936); Arguments; Disagreements


OF all the mismated pairs ever created
The worst of the lot were the Spratts.
Their life was a series of quibbles and queries
And quarrels and squabbles and spats.
They argued at breakfast, they argued at tea,
And they argued from midnight to quarter past three.

The family Spratt-head was rather a fat-head,
And a bellicose body to boot.
He was selfish and priggish and worse, he was piggish --
A regular beast of a brute.
At table his acts were incredibly mean;
He gave his wife fat -- and he gobbled the lean!

What's more, she was censured whenever she ventured
To dare to object to her fare;
He said "It ain't tasteful, but we can't be wasteful;
And someone must eat what is there!"
But his coarseness exceeded all bounds of control
When he laughed at her Art and the State of her Soul.

So what with his jeering and fleering and sneering,
He plagued her from dawn until dark.
He bellowed "I'll teach ye to read Shaw and Nietzsche" --
And he was as bad as his bark.
"The place for a woman-----" he'd start, very glib. . . .
And so on, for two or three hours ad lib.

So very malignant became his indignant
Remarks about "Culture" and "Cranks,"
That at last she revolted. She up and she bolted
And entered the militant ranks. . . .
When she died, after breaking nine-tenths of the laws,
She left all her money and jewels to the Cause!

And THE MORAL is this (though a bit abstruse)
What's sauce for a more or less proper goose,
When it rouses the violent, feminine dander,
Is apt to be sauce for the propaganda.





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