![]() |
Classic and Contemporary Poetry
THE MODERN MAJOR-GENERAL, FR. THE PIRATES OF PENZANCE, by WILLIAM SCHWENCK GILBERT Poet Analysis Poet's Biography First Line: I am the very pattern [or, model] of a modern major-gineral [general] Last Line: I'm still the very model of a modern major-general. Alternate Author Name(s): Gilbert, W. S. Variant Title(s): Major General's Song Subject(s): Generals | |||
I am the very model of a modern Major-General, I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral, I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical, From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical; I'm very well acquainted too with matters mathematical, I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical, About binomial theorem I'm teeming with a lot o' news With many cheerful facts about the square on the hypotenuse. I'm very good at integral and differential calculus, I know the scientific names of being animalculous; In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral, I'm the very model of a modern Major-General. I know our mythic history, King Arthur's and Sir Caradoc's, I answer hard acrostics, I've a pretty taste for paradox, I quote in elegiacs all the crimes of Heliogabalus, In conics I can floor peculiarities parabulous. I can tell undoubted Raphaels from Gerard Dows and Zoffanies, I know the croaking chorus from the Frogs of Aristophanes, Then I can hum a fugue of which I've heard the music's din afore, And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore. Then I can write a washing bill in Babylonic cuneiform, And tell you every detail of Caractacus' uniform; In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral, I am the very model of a modern Major-General. In fact, when I know what is meant by "mamelon" and "ravelin," When I can tell at sight a chassepot rifle from a javelin, When such affairs as sorties and surprises I'm more wary at, And when I know precisely what is meant by "commissariat," When I have learnt what progress has been made in modern gunnery, When I know more of tactics than a novice in a nunnery: In short, when I've a smattering of elemental strategy, You'll say a better Major-General has never sat a gee For my military knowledge, though I'm plucky and adventury, Has only been brought down to the beginning of the century; But still in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral, I'm still the very model of a modern Major-General. | Discover our Poem Explanations and Poet Analyses!Other Poems of Interest...BELISARIUS by HENRY WADSWORTH LONGFELLOW THE GENERAL by SIEGFRIED SASSOON THE IDEAL GENERAL by ARCHILOCHUS BALLAD OF THE SABRE CROSS AND 7 by IRVING BACHELLER OF GENERAL GOURAUD by ROBERTA BALFOUR SONGS FROM THE SEARCH OF BELISARIUS: THE CYPRIOT'S SONG by PERCY STICKNEY GRANT SONGS FROM THE SEARCH OF BELISARIUS: THE GIRL'S SONG by PERCY STICKNEY GRANT SONGS FROM THE SEARCH OF BELISARIUS: THE KNIGHT'S SONG by PERCY STICKNEY GRANT NIGHTMARE, FR. IOLANTHE by WILLIAM SCHWENCK GILBERT THE YARN OF THE 'NANCY BELL' by WILLIAM SCHWENCK GILBERT CAPTAIN REECE OF THE MANTLEPIECE by WILLIAM SCHWENCK GILBERT |
|