Poetry Explorer- Classic Contemporary Poetry, THE SOCIETY UPON THE STANISLAUS, by FRANCIS BRET HARTE



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THE SOCIETY UPON THE STANISLAUS, by             Poet's Biography
First Line: I reside at table mountain, and my name is truthful james
Last Line: That broke up our society upon the stanislow.
Alternate Author Name(s): Harte, Bret
Variant Title(s): The Throes Of Science
Subject(s): Quarrels; Arguments; Disagreements


I RESIDE at Table Mountain, and my name is
Truthful James:
I am not up to small deceit or any sinful games;
And I'll tell in simple language what I know
about the row
That broke up our Society upon the Stanislow.

But first I would remark, that 't is not a proper
plan
For any scientific gent to whale his fellow-man;
And, if a member don't agree with his peculiar
whim,
To lay for that same member for to "put a
head" on him.

Now, nothing could be finer, or more beautiful to
see,
Than the first six months' proceedings of that
same society;
Till Brown of Calveras brought a lot of fossil
bones
That he found within a tunnel near the tene-
ment of Jones.

Then Brown he read a paper, and he reconstructed
there,
From those same bones, an animal that was ex-
tremely rare;
And Jones then asked the Chair for a suspen-
sion of the rules,
Till he could prove that those same bones was
one of his lost mules.

Then Brown he smiled a bitter smile, and said he
was at fault;
It seemed he had been trespassing on Jones's
family vault;
He was a most sarcastic man this quiet Mr.
Brown,
And on several occasions he had cleaned out
the town.

Now I hold it is not decent for a scientific gent
To say another is an ass, -- at least, to all intent;
Nor should the individual who happens to be
meant
Reply by heaving rocks at him to any great ex-
tent.

Then Abner Dean of Angel's raised a point of
order, when
A chunk of old red sandstone took him in the
abdomen;
And he smiled a kind of sickly smile, and curled
upon the floor,
And the subsequent proceedings interested him
no more.

For in less time than I write it, every member did
engage
In a warfare with the remnants of a palaeozoic
age;
And the way they heaved those fossils in their
anger was a sin,
Till the skull of an old mammoth caved the
head of Thompson in.

And this is all I have to say of these improper
games,
For I live at Table Mountain and my name is
Truthful James,
And I've told in simple language what I know
about the row
That broke up our Society upon the Stanislow.




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