Poetry Explorer- Classic Contemporary Poetry, SUBMARINE BADINAGE, by BERTON BRALEY

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Classic and Contemporary Poetry

SUBMARINE BADINAGE, by                 Poet's Biography
First Line: There was a little oyster and he met a
Last Line: Is because I can't supply them with another word to say!
Subject(s): Marine Animals; Submarines; Submarine Warfare; U-boats

There was a little oyster and he met a haughty scallop,
But the scallop said, "You bivalve, you uninteresting polyp,

"Get away from me, you mollusc, and you do it in a hustle
Or you'll get a painful lesson from the muscle of a mussel."

"Oh you ugly selfish shellfish," said the oyster, "you're a sham,
Cease your highly foolish clamor, take a lesson from the clam.

"Lest your crust crustacean rile me and your highly liquid voice stir
The accumulated venom of an irritated oyster!"

Said the haughty scallop coldly, "Hush your everlasting gab.
I can tell, by all your crabbing, you are just an oystercrab,

"And since oyster-crabs eat oysters, though it's awful food to pick,
You can eat yourself completely—and I hope it makes you sick."

Then the oyster answered sharply, "At the risk of being rude
I will simply state succinctly, all of me is fit for food,

"While your edible components, as was known from times of yore,
Are your muscle, Mr. Mussel, merely that and nothing more!"

This subdued the haughty scallop, quite submerged him with its pith,
And he beat it with whatever scallops have to beat it with.

So at length they made a finish of their aquamonious spell,
And the oyster and the scallop each withdrew into his shell;

But the reason, I confess it, that they ceased their repartee
Is because I can't supply them with another word to say!

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