Poetry Explorer- Classic Contemporary Poetry, THE HONKER, by BERTON BRALEY

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Classic and Contemporary Poetry

THE HONKER, by             Poet's Biography
First Line: The pests among drivers are many and various
Last Line: Honking his damnable horn!
Subject(s): Driving & Drivers

The pests among drivers are many and various,
Speed-hounds your comfort disturb,
Drivers with natures and manners nefarious
Crowd you up onto the curb;
Still, I can always complacently nose along,
Treating such trifles with scorn;
What I can't stand is the driver who goes along
Constantly honking his horn!

"Honk! Honk! Honkety Honk!"
(Gives you an ache in the back of your conk.)
Honking at baby-carts motored by nurses,
Honking at milkwagons, honking at hearses,
Honking at eventide, honking at morn,
Pest who infernally,
Ever, eternally
Honks his pestiferous horn!

When traffic cops halt all the movement vehicular
That doesn't bother this pest!
He tears your nerves and your tissues auricular
Honking with unalloyed zest.
Busses and buggies and trucks and equestrians
Timid old ladies forlorn,
Pushcarts and lamp-posts and dogs and pedestrians
He honks 'em all with his horn!

"Honk! Honk! Honkety Honk!"
(Is it plain meanness or thickness of conk?)
Honking the Latin, the Jew and the Saxon,
Unintermittently honking his Klaxon,
Honking till tempers are ragged and torn,
Pest who insistently,
Near by or distantly
Honks his provocative horn!

He tears through the country when farmers are slumbering,
Honking at shadows of trees,
He honks through the cities, through crowds beyond numbering,
Honking each person he sees.
He honks when he stops, when he starts, when he's meeting you.
It might quite truly be sworn,
Judging his skill by the way he is greeting you
He drives his car with the horn!

"Honk! Honk! Honkety Honk!"
(Oh for a dornick to bounce on his conk!)
Honking at river and mountain and plain,
Honking for pleasure and honking for pain,
Honking when sober or jazzed up with corn.
("Honk! Honk! Honkety Honk.")
Constantly honking his horn.
Pest whose perpetual
Stunt is to fret you all,
Honking his damnable horn!

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