Poetry Explorer- Classic Contemporary Poetry, THE REGULAR STORY, by BERTON BRALEY



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THE REGULAR STORY, by             Poet's Biography
First Line: In times prehistoric, when lovers' fond ways
Last Line: And lie to her now as he lied to her then!
Subject(s): Courtship


In times prehistoric, when lovers' fond ways
Consisted of using the club and the fist,
And knocking the maid of one's choice in a daze
Before she had ever been fondled or kissed,
As soon as the lady revived and came to
And fingered the bumps that she had on her head
And put some raw meat on her eye that was blue,
There isn't a doubt that she tenderly said:
"Oh, am I the first one you've bumped on the bean,
The first whom you've ruthlessly dragged by the hair,
The first that with masculine ardor so keen
You've borne in a comatose state to your lair?
Oh, say I'm the first that you've handled ungloved
Whose features your passion has led you to mar,
The only young lady you ever have loved!"
And being a gent in his aim and intent
The caveman replied to her, "Darling, you are!"

The methods of courtship have changed quite a bit
Within the past three or four millions of years,
And now when we mention our "making a hit"
We don't mean a wallop just back of the ears;
But when, as in days when a damsel was shoved
Unconscious and limp in a troglodyte's den,
She asks, "Am I truly the first you have loved?"
We keep the past hid as the troglodyte did,
And lie to her now as he lied to her then!





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