Poetry Explorer- Classic Contemporary Poetry, CAPTAIN WATTLE AND MISS ROW, by CHARLES DIBDIN


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Classic and Contemporary Poetry

CAPTAIN WATTLE AND MISS ROW, by                     Poet's Biography
First Line: Did you ever hear of captain wattle
Last Line: For when he kicked miss roe, she kicked him again.
Alternate Author Name(s): Dibdin, Charles Isaac Mungo; Dibdin, Charles, Jr.


Did you ever hear of Captain Wattle? --
He was all for love, and a little for the bottle.
We know not, though pains we have taken to inquire,
If gunpowder he invented, or the Thames set on fire;
If to him was the centre of gravity known,
The longitude, or the philosopher's stone;
Or whether he studied from Bacon or Boyle,
Copernicus, Locke, Katerfelto, or Hoyle:
But this we have learnt, with great labour and pain,
That he loved Miss Roe, and she loved him again.
Than sweet Miss Roe none e'er looked fiercer,
She had but one eye, and that was a piercer.
We know not, for certainty, her education;
If she wrote, mended stockings, or settled the nation;
At cards, if she liked whist, and swabbers or voles;
Or at dinner lov'd pig, or a steak on the coals;
Whether most of the Sappho she was, or Thalestris,
Or if dancing was taught her by Hopkins or Vestris;
But, for your satisfaction, this good news we obtain,
That she loved Captain Wattle, and he loved her again,
When wedded he became lord and master, depend on't;
He had but one leg, but he'd a foot at the end on't,
Which of government when she would fain hold the bridle,
He took special caution should never lie idle;
So, like most married folk, 'twas "My plague and my chicken!'
And sometimes a kissing and sometimes a kicking;
Then, for comfort, a cordial she'd now and then try,
Alternately piping or bunging her eye;
And these facts of this couple the history contain;
For when he kicked Miss Roe, she kicked him again.










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