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THE LADY'S DIARY, by                     Poet's Biography
First Line: Lectured by pa and ma o'er night
Last Line: And ran away with captain clackit.
Alternate Author Name(s): Dibdin, Charles Isaac Mungo; Dibdin, Charles, Jr.
Subject(s): Diaries


LECTURED by Pa and Ma o'er night,
Monday at ten quite vexed and jealous,
Resolved in future to be right,
And never listen to the fellows:
Stitched half a wristband, read the text,
Received a note from Mrs Racket:
I hate that woman, she sat next
All church-time to sweet Captain Clackit.

Tuesday got scolded, did not care,
The toast was cold, 'twas past eleven;
I dreamed the Captain through the air
On Cupid's wings bore me to heaven:
Pouted and dined, dressed, looked divine,
Made an excuse, got Ma to back it;
Went to the play, what joy was mine!
Talked loud and laughed with Captain Clackit.

Wednesday came down no lark so gay,
'The girl's quite altered,' said my mother;
Cried Dad, 'I recollect the day
When, dearee, thou wert such another':
Danced, drew a landscape, skimmed a play,
In the paper read that widow Flackit
To Gretna Green had run away,
The forward minx, with Captain Clackit.

Thursday fell sick: 'poor soul she'll die';
Five doctors came with lengthened faces;
Each felt my pulse; 'ah me,' cried I,
'Are these my promised loves and graces?'
Friday grew worse; cried Ma, in pain,
'Our day was fair, heaven do not black it;
Where's your complaint, love?'—'In my brain.'
'What shall I give you?'—'Captain Clackit.'

Early next morn a nostrum came
Worth all their cordials, balms and spices;
A letter, I had been to blame;
The Captain's truth brought on a crisis.
Sunday, for fear of more delays,
Of a few clothes I made a packet,
And Monday morn stepped in a chaise
And ran away with Captain Clackit.





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