Poetry Explorer- Classic Contemporary Poetry, THE CHAMELEON AND THE DOCTOR, by FAIRFAX DOWNEY


Poetry Explorer

Classic and Contemporary Poetry

THE CHAMELEON AND THE DOCTOR, by                    
First Line: There was a chameleon laid up in a bed
Last Line: A young lady's bright batik sweater for sport.
Subject(s): Chameleons; Physicians; Doctors


There was a Chameleon laid up in a bed
Of delphiniums (blue) and geraniums (red),
And all the day long he'd be changing his hue
From geraniums (red) to delphiniums (blue).

A doctor came hurrying round to insist
He'd better consult with a spec-i-alist.
"A keen diagnosis may mean we trepan.
I'll call Doctor Smith. He's a very good man."

The poor old Chameleon changed color again
And felt he must be in considerable pain.
More spec-i-alists came with frowns and with nods
And marched in and out in a column of squads.

At last on a verdict the doctors agreed
And handed it down to a foreman to read.
"The patient needs more of a change," they all said,
"Than delphiniums (blue) to geraniums (red)."

The doctors on leaving some sugary pills
Cried, "Ready, present, open fire with your bills."
At which the Chameleon bade them his adieus
And sang, "Oh, I've got Them Delphinium Blues."

The Doctor came back. In his benevolence,
He'd bought some new blooms at the patient's expense.
"With these your complexion will surely be right.
Try these orchids (pale mauve) and gardenias (white)."

They put in a greenhouse instead of the bed
Of delphiniums (blue) and geraniums (red).
"For you convalescents there's nothing, by Jove!
Like gardenias (white) and like orchids (pale mauve)."

Alas! the Chameleon remarked with a sigh:
"These flowers, I figure, should knock out my eye.
But I did so prefer to get potted instead
With delphiniums (blue) and geraniums (red)."

Chameleon turned purple and then he turned pale
His color was worse and his health like to fail.
The Doctor returned and remarked that he liked
His neurotic cases to go and be psyched.

A noted psychologist made a long test.
"Your complex of color," he said, "is suppressed.
Your personal doctor and I will arrange
That you shortly experience more of a change."

They told the Chameleon he really should try
A stay for a while on a Christmas necktie
To make you feel brightly, repose on the clocks
Of young prep school scholars' splendiferous socks.

"We recommend frequent pronounced change of scene,
Or you will revert to an unhealthy green.
The boutonniere changes you may find some use
By night cabarets with their walls a la Russe."

Poor doctored Chameleon! He never got well!
At last he succumbed to a violent spell.
And this was the change that had cut his days short --
A young lady's bright batik sweater for sport.





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