Poetry Explorer- Classic Contemporary Poetry, A SONG OF THE SCHOOLS, by ALFRED DENNIS GODLEY


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Classic and Contemporary Poetry

A SONG OF THE SCHOOLS, by                     Poet's Biography
First Line: Whene'er I see those sculptured three, above the new schools' gate
Last Line: I'll sign myself r. Snooks, b. A., ex aul. Magistri charsley.
Alternate Author Name(s): Godley, A. D.
Subject(s): Oxford University


Over the entrance to the New Examination Schools at Oxford (opened 1885) are two reliefs in stone,
one representing a Viva Voce Examination, the other representing the ceremony of conferring
the degree of B.A.

WHENE'ER I see those sculptured Three, above the New Schools' gate,
Whose stony forms a heart of stone too aptly indicate,
It minds me, as I gaze upon those cold, unfeeling men,
How often I've been ploughed before, and oft shall be again;
And O! that Undergraduate, receiving his degree --
They give that Undergraduate what ne'er they'll give to me!

Before my locks were streaked with grey, and seamed with care my brow,
I got through Mods. in seven tries -- I often wonder how --
But Greats, alas! I cannot pass; for were my mind a sieve, I
Could just about as well retain the narrative of Livy.
They tell me where Saguntum was: I hear, but I forget --
I can't distinguish Hamilcar from Hasdrubal as yet!
They say my Aristotle's 'weak', and always mark 'N. S.' on
My papers when I try to prove that virtue is a meson:
And when I bring the Clerk a bob, he simply says in answer,
'What! give you a testamur, Sir! I much regret I can't, Sir.'

Full proudly struts the Honourman, with look serene and high;
Yet O! although his task is hard, he's better off than I!
He's specialized on all that's known, and also much that's not:
He knows far more than Liddell knew, and quite as much as Scott:
He uses philosophic terms so long 'tis hard to spell 'em,
Has all M-c-n's most recent tips, and theories from P-lh-m;
But can the boastful Honourman -- can P-lh-m or M-c-n know
The various individuals who bore the name of Hanno?
No -- much more difficult his task, superior far his art,
Who buys a crib at second-hand, and learns that crib by heart!

Still, ere I quite give up the game, and migrate hence to Durham
(For if examiners have hearts, some pity sure must stir 'em)
I'll try another bout with Fate -- one last and desperate venture --
This time, perhaps, will victory crown my limp dejected trencher:
Then, proud as any ancient Greek who won the Isthmian parsley,
I'll sign myself R. Snooks, B. A., ex Aul. Magistri Charsley.





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