Poetry Explorer- Classic Contemporary Poetry, THE ASS-ELECTION, by HEINRICH HEINE



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Classic and Contemporary Poetry

THE ASS-ELECTION, by                     Poet's Biography
First Line: Being tired of freedom for some time past
Last Line: With evident gratification.
Subject(s): Elections; Germany; Voting; Voters; Suffrage; Germans


BEING tired of freedom for some time past
The beasts' republic decided
To be with a single ruler at last
As its absolute head provided.

Each kind of beast prepared for the strife,
Electoral billets were written;
Intrigues on every side were rife,
With party zeal all were bitten.

By long-ear'd gentry at its head
The asses' committee was aided;
Cockades, whose colours were black, gold, and red,
They boastfully paraded.

A small party there was of friends of the horse,
Who yet were afraid of voting,
So greatly they dreaded the outcry coarse
The long-ear'd party denoting.

But when one of them ventured the horse to name
As a candidate, greater and greater
Wax'd the noise, and an old long-ear, to his shame,
Shouted out "Thou art only a traitor.

"A traitor art thou, in thy veins doth not flow
"One drop of asses' blood proper;
"No ass art thou, and I almost know
"That a foreign mare was thy dropper!

"From the zebra perchance thou art sprung; thy striped hide
"Quite answers the zebra's description;
"The nasal twang of thy voice is allied
"To the Hebrew as well as Egyptian.

"And if not a stranger, thou art, thou must own,
"A dull ass, of an intellect paltry;
"The depths of ass-nature to thee are unknown
"Thou hear'st not its mystical psalt'ry.

"But with sweet stupefaction my soul drinks in
"That sound which all others surpasses;
"An ass am I, and each hair in the skin
"Of my tail the hair of an ass is.

"I am not a Papist, I am not a slave,
"A German ass am I solely;
"The same as my fathers, who all were so brave,
"So thoughtful, demure, and so holy.
"They were not addicted to doing ill,
"Or practising gallantry gaily;
"But trotted off with the sack to the mill
"In frolicsome fashion daily.

"Our fathers still live. In the tomb only lie
"Their skins, their mortal covering;
"Their happy spirits, high up in the sky,
"Complacently o'er us are hovering.

"Ye glorified asses, ye need not doubt
"That we fain would resemble you ever,
"And from the path that duty points out
"We'll swerve a finger's breadth never.

"O what a delight an ass to be,
"From such long-ear'd worthies descended!
"From every house-top I'd fain shout with glee!
"'An ass I was born -- how splendid!'

"The noble jackass who gave me birth
"Was of genuine German extraction;
"From my mother, a German ass of worth,
"My milk suck'd I with great satisfaction.

"An ass am I, and fully intend,
"Like my fathers who now are departed,
"To stand by the asses, yes, stand to the end
"By the asses so dear and true-hearted.

"And since I'm an ass, I advise you all round
"To choose your king from the asses;
"A mighty ass-kingdom we thus will found,
"They being the governing classes.

"We all are asses. Hee-ha! Hee-ha!
"As ostlers we will not demean us;
"Away with the horses! Long live, hurrah,
"The king of the asinine genus!"

Thus spake the patriot. Through the hall
The asses cheer'd him proudly;
They all, in fact, were national,
And with their hoofs stamp'd loudly.

An oaken wreath on the orator's head
They put as a decoration;
He wagg'd his tail (though nothing he said)
With evident gratification.





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