Poetry Explorer- Classic Contemporary Poetry, SPATTER'S RAMBLES: COFFEE-HOUSES, by HUGH KELLY

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First Line: Last night at the coffee-house happening to sit
Last Line: "take the word of your humble—jack spatter."
Alternate Author Name(s): Spatter, Jack
Subject(s): Coffee Houses

"Last night at the coffee-house happening to sit,
I was wearied with noise and dispute,
Quite sick of eternal discourses on Pitt,
And just jaded to Death about Bute.

A number of heads magisterially great,
In a spirited party were thrown,
All striving to settle the peace of the state,
Though they lost every thought of their own.

The victories of Amherst, the conquests of Hawke,
Were stretched in one wonderful link,
And fellows were boldly presuming to talk,
Who were never permitted to think.

A barber convinced the whole council with ease,
What a loss from our treaty must spring;
And a humble retailer of bacon and cheese
Was employed in directing his king.

O when will discretion in tenderness shed
One sensible beam on this land!
And hinder each puppy from troubling his head
About what he can ne'er understand!

Come, Goddess! O come! and inspire some degree
Of thy daughter, fair Decency's rules:
Must insolence still be the claim of the free?
Or shall liberty mould us to fools?

Such only should talk and discourse of the state
Who are perfectly versed in the matter,
In others 'tis boldness or folly to prate,
Take the word of your humble—Jack Spatter."

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