Poetry Explorer- Classic Contemporary Poetry, THE NEW COSTUME OF THE MINISTERS, by THOMAS MOORE


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Classic and Contemporary Poetry

THE NEW COSTUME OF THE MINISTERS, by                     Poet's Biography
First Line: Having sent off the troops of brave major camac
Last Line: And first puts in hand my lord chancellor eld -- n.
Alternate Author Name(s): Little, Thomas
Subject(s): Clothing & Dress; Politics & Government


HAVING sent off the troops of brave Major Camac,
With a swinging horse-tail at each valorous back,
And such helmets, God bless us! as never deck'd any
Male creature before, except Signor Giovanni --
"Let's see," says the R -- g -- t (like Titus, perplex'd
With the duties of empire), "whom shall I dress next?"

He looks in the glass -- but perfection is there,
Wig, whiskers, and chin-tufts all right to a hair;
Not a single ex-curl on his forehead he traces --
For curls are like Ministers, strange as the case is,
The falser they are, the more firm in their places.

His coat he next views -- but the coat who could doubt?
For his Y -- rm -- th's own Frenchified hand cut it out;
Every pucker and seam were made matters of State,
And a grand Household Council was held on each plait!

Then whom shall he dress? shall he new-rig his brother
Great C -- mb -- rl -- d's Duke, with some kickshaw or other?
And kindly invent him more Christian-like shapes
For his feather-bed neckcloths and pillory capes?

Ah! no -- here his ardour would meet with delays,
For the Duke had been lately pack'd up in new stays,
So complete for the winter, he saw very plain
'T would be devilish hard work to unpack him again!

So, what's to be done? -- there's the Ministers, bless 'em! --
As he made the puppets, why shouldn't he dress 'em?
"An excellent thought! -- call the tailors -- be nimble --
Let Cum bring his spy-glass, and H -- rtf -- d her thimble;
While Y -- rm -- th shall give us, in spite of all quizzers,
The last Paris cut with his true Gallic scissars."

So saying, he calls C -- stl -- r -- gh, and the rest
Of his Heaven-born statesmen, to come and be dress'd.
While Y -- rm -- th, with snip-like and brisk expedition,
Cuts up, all at once, a large Cath'lic petition
In long tailors' measures, (the P ---- e crying "Well done!")
And first puts in hand my Lord Chancellor Eld -- n.





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