Classic and Contemporary Poetry
WALKS LIKE THIS, by G. A. P. (19TH CENTURY) First Line: He was dry as georgie's poodle and was quickly growing worse Last Line: "this!!!" Subject(s): Drinks & Drinking; Practical Jokes; Revenge; Wine; Pranks | ||||||||
HE was dry as Georgie's poodle and was quickly growing worse, But he didn't hold the boodle'twas a fact that made him curse But he was a man of mettle and was not exactly dumb, So he walked into McPherson's bar and called for rum. So they handed him the bottle and he made that rum look queer, Swigged it off and asked politely: "Is Jim Smith a-staying here? A peculiar sort of feller but a decent, Jimmy is, And he's got a gammy left leg and he walks like this." Then he limped (as his friend Smith did) to the door and did a git, And McPherson, realizing that he hadn't paid his bit, Cursed until the glasses rattled and the beer-machine got jammed, Then he wound up with a homely phrase of: "Well, I'm damned!" Now, the chap who "had" McPherson thought the joke too good to lose, So he told a friend of his'n, who was dying for a booze, How he'd scored his cheap refreshmentthough he didn't tell him where And that friend he struck McPherson's and he called for beer. And they drew a quart of swankyit was in a pewter pot And he downed it with a single gulp, and said, "It's mighty hot! Is Tommy Brown a-stayin"ere? 'E's whiskers on his phiz, An 'e's kind o' wooden-leggèd and he walks like this." Then McPherson waxèd wrathy, there was murder in his gloat As he leapt him o'er the counter, seized that joker by the throat; And he shouted, "Brown's not staying here, I don't know who he is, But McPherson's pretty handy, and he kicks! like!! this!!!" | Discover our Poem Explanations and Poet Analyses!Other Poems of Interest...FALSE FRIENDS-LIKE by WILLIAM BARNES POLLY BE-EN UPZIDES WI' TOM by WILLIAM BARNES WHAT DICK AN' I DID by WILLIAM BARNES ONLY A PIN by ISAAC HINTON BROWN THE PRACTICAL JOKER by WILLIAM SCHWENCK GILBERT THE GUILE OF DAD MCGINNIS by W. T. GOODGE THE SILKEN SNAKE by ROBERT HERRICK A CURIOUS REMINISCENCE by ALEXANDER MONTGOMERY (19TH CENTURY) BLIND by LASCELLES ABERCROMBIE |
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