Poetry Explorer- Classic Contemporary Poetry, PIPE DREAMS: 1, by WILLIAM A. PHELON


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Classic and Contemporary Poetry

PIPE DREAMS: 1, by                    
First Line: Admit me, wah, and light at least three lamps
Last Line: Your shelter, wah, ere he could get me jailed!
Subject(s): Dreams; Drugs & Drug Abuse; Nightmares


ADMIT me, Wah, and light at least three lamps,
I want them where they'll throw a little heat
Upon my chilly hands and face. I'm cold,
Cold from my cranium clear to my feet.
Talk about pipe dreams—could a dope fiend make
Weather as weird as right here in New York?
One day so hot you pine for Labrador,
While the sun's rays would almost melt a cork.
Next day so cold you shrink up and congeal,
Then rain, and snow, and hail, all in an hour—
What smoke-dream ever shifted in such style?
What hop does Pluvius use to gain his power?
Just now, on Forty-second street, Ted Marks
Ran into me. He had a curious hat,
Made out of fish-feet, and a waving plume,
While on his spine there danced a bright green cat.
"I cannot stop, "cried he, "because I have
A date with A. H. Woods. We will produce
A melodrama, styled 'My Widow's Hoofs,'
Or 'Bounding Bertha, The Unshuffled Deuce."'
Then Eddie Leonard spoke, and as he talked
A saw-toothed codfish started to beat time
On Charlie Yale's silk lid, while Eddie sang,
"Don't bite my goat, for that would be a crime."
Then a large man began to pass his fins
Most curiously in and out, and round—
Said I, "Dost need a doctor, sir?" Said he,
"I am Pauline, the Only, the Renowned!"
"If you're Pauline, I'm Gertie," I exclaimed—
And then Ren Shields most savagely assailed
Me with a scarlet cream puff, and I sought
Your shelter, Wah, ere he could get me jailed!





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