Poetry Explorer- Classic Contemporary Poetry, THE DISCOVERY, OR THE SQUIRE TURNED FERRET; BALLAD, by ALEXANDER POPE


Poetry Explorer

Classic and Contemporary Poetry

THE DISCOVERY, OR THE SQUIRE TURNED FERRET; BALLAD, by                 Poet Analysis     Poet's Biography
First Line: Most true it is, I dare to say
Last Line: He still might shew his own.
Subject(s): Animals; Rabbits; Hares


Most true it is, I dare to say,
E'er since the Days of Eve,
The weakest Woman sometimes may
The wisest Man deceive.

For D--nt circumspect, sedate,
A Machiavel by Trade,
Arriv'd Express, with News of Weight,
And thus, at Court, he said.

At Godliman, hard by the Bull,
A Woman, long thought barren,
Bears Rabbits, -- Gad! so plentiful,
You'd take her for a Warren.

These Eyes, quoth He, beheld them clear:
What, do ye doubt my View?
Behold this Narrative that's here;
Why, Zounds! and Blood! 'tis true!

Some said that D--gl--s sent should be,
Some talk'd of W--lk--r's Merit,
But most held, in this Midwifery,
No Doctor like a FERRET.

But M-l-n-x, who heard this told,
(Right wary He and wise)
Cry'd sagely, 'Tis not safe, I hold,
To trust to D--nt's Eyes.

A Vow to God He then did make
He would himself go down,
St. A-d-re too, the Scale to take
Of that Phoenomenon.

He order'd then his Coach and Four;
(The Coach was quickly got 'em)
Resolv'd this Secret to explore,
And search it to the Bottom.

At Godliman they now arrive,
For Haste they made exceeding;
As Courtiers should, whene'er they strive
To be inform'd of Breeding.

The good Wife to the Surgeon sent,
And said to him, Good Neighbour,
'Tis pity that two Squires so Gent --
Should come and lose their Labour.

The Surgeon with a Rabbit came,
And first in Pieces cut it;
Then slyly thrust it up that same,
As far as Man could put it.

(Ye Guildford Inn-keepers take heed
You dress not such a Rabbit
Ye Poult'rers eke, destroy the Breed,
'Tis so unsav'ry a-Bit.)

But hold! says Molly, first let's try,
Now that her Legs are ope,
If ought within we may descry
By Help of Telescope.

The Instrument himself did make,
He rais'd and level'd right,
But all about was so opake,
It could not aid his Sight.

On Tiptoe then the Squire he stood,
(But first He gave Her Money)
Then reach'd as high as e'er He cou'd,
And cry'd, I feel a CONY.

Is it alive? St. A-d-re cry'd;
It is; I feel it stir.
Is it full grown? The Squire reply'd,
It is; see here's the FUR.

And now two Legs St. A-d-re got,
And then came two Legs more;
Now fell the Head to Molly's Lot,
And so the Work was o'er.

The Woman, thus being brought to Bed,
Said, to reward your Pains,
St. A-d-re shall dissect the Head,
And thou shalt have the Brains.

He lap'd it in a Linnen Rag,
Then thank'd Her for Her Kindness;
And cram'd it in the Velvet Bag
That serves his R-- 1 H--

That Bag -- which fenny, wanton Slut,
First brought to foul Disgrace;
Stealing the Papers thence she put
Veal-Cutlets in their Place.

O! happy would it be, I ween,
Could they these Rabbits smother;
Molly had ne'er a Midwife been,
Nor she a shameful Mother.

Why has the Proverb falsly said
Better two Heads than one;
Could Molly hide this Rabbit's Head,
He still might shew his own.





Discover our Poem Explanations and Poet Analyses!


Other Poems of Interest...
Home: PoetryExplorer.net