Classic and Contemporary Poetry
MR RANDOLPH'S PETITION TO HIS CREDITORS, by THOMAS RANDOLPH Poet Analysis Poet's Biography First Line: Pox take you all! From you my sorrows swell! Last Line: May they more debtors have, and all like me! Subject(s): Debt | ||||||||
POX take you all! from you my sorrows swell! Your treacherous faith makes me turn infidel. Pray vex me not for heaven's sake, or rather For your poor children's sake, or for their father. You trouble me in vain, whate'er you say: I cannot, will not, nay, I ought not pay, You are extortioners; I was not sent T' increase your sins, but make you all repent That e'er you trusted me; we're even here: I bought too cheap, because you sold too dear. Learn conscience of your wives; for they, I swear, For the most part trade in the better ware. hark, reader, if thou never yet hadst one, I'll show the torments of a Cambridge dun. He rails, where'er he comes, and yet can say But this -- that Randolph did not keep his day. What, can I keep the day, or stop the sun From setting, or the night from coming on. Could I have kept days, I had chang'd the doom Of times and seasons that had never come. These evil spirits haunt me every day, And will not let me eat, study, or pray. I am so much in their books, that'tis known I am too seldom frequent in my own. What damage given to my doors might be, If doors might actions have of battery! And when they find their coming to no end, They dun by proxy, and their letters send, In such a style as I could never find In Tully's long, or Seneca's short wind. Good Master Randolph, pardon me (I pray), If I remember you forget your day. I kindly dealt with you, and it would be Unkind in you not to be kind to me. You know, sir, I must pay for what I have. My creditors will be paid, therefore I crave Pay me as I pay them, sir, for one brother Is bound in conscience to pay another. Besides, my landlord would not be content If I should dodge with him for's quarter's rent. My wife lies in, too, and I needs must pay The midwife, lest the fool be cast away. And 'tis a second charge to me (poor man) To make the new-born babe a Christian. Besides, the churching a third charge will be In butter'd haberdine and frumity. Thus hoping you will make a courteous end, I rest (I would thou wouldst) Your loving friend. A.B.M.H.T.B.H.L.I.O. I.F.M.G.P.W. Nay I know You have the same style all, and as for me Such as your style is, shall your payment be. Just all alike. See what a cursed spell Charms devils up, to make my chamber hell. This some starv'd prentice brings, one that does look With a face blurr'd more than his master's book. One that in any chink can peeping lie More slender than the yard he measures by. When my poor stomach barks for meat, I dare Scarce humour it; they make me live by air, As the chameleons do; and if none pay Better than I have done, even so may they. When I would go to chapel, they betray My zeal, and when I only meant to pray Unto my God, faith, all I have to do Is to pray them, and glad they'll hear me too. Nay, should I preach, the rascals are so vex'd, They'd fee a beadle to arrest my text; And sue (if such a suit might granted be) My use and doctrine to an outlawry. This stings; yet what my gall most works upon Is that the hope of my revenge is gone. For were I but to deal with such as those That knew the danger of my verse or prose, I'd steep my muse in vinegar and gall, Till the fierce scold grew sharp, and hang'd 'um all. But those I am to deal with are so dull (Though got by scholars) he that is most full Of understanding can but hither come Imprimis, item, and the total sum. I do not wish them Egypt's plagues, but even As bad as they: I'd add unto them seven. I wish not grasshoppers, frogs, and lice come down, But clouds of moths in every shop i' th' town. Then honest devil to their ink convey Some aquafortis, that may eat away Their books. To add more torments to their lives, Heaven, I beseech thee, send 'um handsome wives. Such as will pox their flesh, till sores grow in't, That all their linen may be spent in lint. And give them children with ingenuous faces, Endued with all the ornaments and graces Of soul and body, that it may be known To others and themselves they're not their own. And if this vex 'um not, I'll grieve the town With this curse, States, put Trinity Lecture down. But my last imprecation this shall be, May they more debtors have, and all like me! | Discover our Poem Explanations and Poet Analyses!Other Poems of Interest...A MAN CAME TUESDAY by JOHN CIARDI THE INEQUITIES OF DEBT by ROBERT FROST THE DEBT by PAUL LAURENCE DUNBAR UNCLE OUT O' DEBT AN' OUT O' DANGER by WILLIAM BARNES THE BRIDE'S TRAGEDY by THOMAS LOVELL BEDDOES LOVE, DRINK, AND DEBT by ALEXANDER BROME TO SYLO by GAIUS VALERIUS CATULLUS FAIRIES' SONG by THOMAS RANDOLPH ODE TO MASTER ANTHONY STAFFORD [TO HASTEN HIM INTO COUNTRY] by THOMAS RANDOLPH |
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