Poetry Explorer- Classic Contemporary Poetry, FARMER WHIPPLE - BACHELOR, by JAMES WHITCOMB RILEY



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Classic and Contemporary Poetry

FARMER WHIPPLE - BACHELOR, by                 Poet Analysis     Poet's Biography
First Line: It's a mystery to see me - a man o' fifty-four
Last Line: To git a pair o' license fer to marry mary brown.
Alternate Author Name(s): Johnson Of Boone, Benj. F.
Subject(s): Farm Life; Love; Single People; Agriculture; Farmers; Bachelors; Unmarried People


It's a mystery to see me -- a man o' fifty-four,
Who's lived a cross old bachelor fer thirty year' and more --
A-lookin' glad and smilin'! And they's none o' you can say
That you can guess the reason why I feel so good to-day!

I must tell you all about it! But I'll have to deviate
A little in beginnin', so's to set the matter straight
As to how it comes to happen that I never took a wife --
Kindo' "crawfish" from the Present to the Springtime of my life!

I was brought up in the country: Of a family of five --
Three brothers and a sister -- I'm the only one alive, --
Fer they all died little babies; and 'twas one o' Mother's ways,
You know, to want a daughter; so she took a girl to raise.

The sweetest little thing she was, with rosy cheeks, and fat --
We was little chunks o' shavers then about as high as that!
But someway we sort a' suited-like! and Mother she'd declare
She never laid her eyes on a more lovin' pair

Than we was! So we growed up side by side fer thirteen year',
And every hour of it she growed to me more dear! --
W'y, even Father's dyin', as he did, I do believe
Warn't more affectin' to me than it was to see her grieve!

I was then a lad o' twenty; and I felt a flash o' pride
In thinkin' all depended on me now to pervide
Fer Mother and fer Mary; and I went about the place
With sleeves rolled up -- and workin', with a mighty smilin' face. --

Fer somepin' else was workin'! but not a word I said
Of a certain sort o' notion that was runnin' through my head, --
"Some day I'd maybe marry, and a brother's love was one
Thing -- a lover's was another!" was the way the notion run!

I remember onc't in harvest, when the "cradle-in' " was done,
(When the harvest of my summers mounted up to twenty-one),
I was ridin' home with Mary at the closin' o' the day --
A-chawin' straws and thinkin', in a lover's lazy way!

And Mary's cheeks was burnin' like the sunset down the lane:
I noticed she was thinkin', too, and ast her to explain.
Well -- when she turned and kissed me, with her arms around me-law!@
I'd a bigger load o' Heaven than I had a load o' straw!

I don't p'tend to learnin', but I'll tell you what's a fac',
They's a mighty truthful sayin' somers in a' almanac --
Er somers -- 'bout "puore happiness" -- perhaps some folks'll laugh
At the idy -- "only lastin' jest two seconds and a half." --

But it's jest as true as preachin'! -- fer that was a sister's kiss,
And a sister's lovin' confidence a-tellin' to me this: --
"She was happy, bein' promised to the son o' Farmer Brown" --
And my feelin's struck a pardnership with sunset and went down!

I don't know how I acted, and I don't know what I said, --
Fer my heart seemed jest a-turnin' to an ice-cold lump o' lead;
And the hosses kind o'glimmered before me in the road,
And the lines fell from my fingers -- And that was all I knowed --

Fer -- well, I don't know HOW long -- They's a dim rememberence
Of a sound o' snortin' horses, and a stake-and-ridered fence
A-whizzin' past, and wheat-sheaves a-dancin' in the air,
And Mary screamin' "Murder!" and a-runnin' up to where

I was layin' by the roadside, and the wagon upside down
A-leanin' on the gate-post, with the wheels a-whirlin' roun'!
And I tried to raise and meet her, but I couldn't, with a vague
Sort o' notion comin' to me that I had a broken leg.

Well, the women nussed me through it; but many a time I'd sigh
As I'd keep a-gittin' better instid o' goin' to die,
And wonder what was left me worth livin' fer below,
When the girl I loved was married to another, don't you know!

And my thoughts was as rebellious as the folks was good and kind
When Brown and Mary married -- Railly must 'a' been my mind
Was kind o' out o' kilter! -- fer I hated Brown, you see,
Worse'n pizen -- and the feller whittled crutches out fer me --

And done a thousand little ac's o' kindness and respec' --
And me a-wishin' all the time that I could break his neck!
My relief was like a mourner's when the funeral is done
When they moved to Illinois in the Fall o' Forty-one.

Then I went to work in airnest -- I had nothin' much in view
But to drownd out rickollections -- and it kep' me busy, too!
But I slowly thrived and prospered, tel Mother used to say
She expected yit to see me a wealthy man some day.

Then I'd think how little money was, compared to happiness --
And who'd be left to use it when I died I couldn't guess!
But I've still kep' speculatin' and a-gainin' year by year,
Tel I'm payin' half the taxes in the county, mighty near!

Well! -- A year ago er better, a letter comes to hand
Astin' how I'd like to dicker fer some Illinois land --
"The feller that had owned it," it went ahead to state,
"Had jest deceased, insolvent, leavin' chance to speculate," --

And then it closed by sayin' that I'd "better come and see." --
I'd never been West, anyhow -- a'most too wild fer me,
I'd allus had a notion; but a lawyer here in town
Said I'd find myself mistakend when I come to look around.

So I bids good-by to Mother, and I jumps aboard the train,
A-thinkin' what I'd bring her when I come back home again --
And ef she'd had an idy what the present was to be,
I think it's more'n likely she'd 'a' went along with me!

Cars is awful tejus ridin', fer all they go so fast!
But finally they called out my stoppin'-place at last:
And that night, at the tavern, I dreamp' I was a train
O' cars, and skeered at somepin', runnin' down a country lane!

Well, in the morning airly -- after huntin' up the man --
The lawyer who was wantin' to swap the piece o' land --
We started fer the country; and I ast the history
Of the farm -- its former owner -- and so forth, etcetery!

And -- well -- it was interestin' -- I su'prised him, I suppose,
By the loud and frequent manner in which I blowed my nose! --
But his su'prise was greater, and it made him wonder more,
When I kissed and hugged the widder when she met us at the door! --

It was Mary: . . . They's a feelin' a-hidin' down in here --
Of course I can't explain it, ner ever make it clear. --
It was with us in that meetin', I don't want you to fergit!
And it makes me kind o'nervous when I think about it yit!

I bought that farm, and deeded it, afore I left the town
With "title clear to mansions in the skies," to Mary Brown!
And fu'thermore, I took her and the childern -- fer you see,
They'd never seed their Grandma -- and I fetched 'em home with me.

So now you've got an idy why a man o' fifty-four,
Who's lived a cross old bachelor fer thirty year' and more
Is a-lookin' glad and smilin'! -- And I've jest come into town
To git a pair o' license fer to marry Mary Brown.







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